Writer: pHreaKie
Title: The 28 Types of People You Meet in the Men's Room
Section: Misc
date: 2-11-98

		The 28 Types of People You Meet in the Men's Room              

  1. EXCITABLE:
  Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.

  2. SOCIABLE:
  Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.

  3. NOSEY:
  Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

  4. TIMID:
  Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal as if he had 
  already, comes back later.

  5. INDIFFERENT:
  All urinals beeing used, pisses in the sink.

  6. CLEVER:
  No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on the floor.

  7. WORRIED:
  Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.

  8. FRIVOLOUS:
  Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.

  9. ABSENT-MINDED:
  Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.

  10. CHILDISH:
  Pisses directly into bottom of urinal, likes to see the bubbles.

  11. SNEAKY:
  Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in the 
  next stall will get blamed.

  12. PATIENT:
  Stands very close for a long time, reads newspaper with free hand.

  13. DESPARATE:
  waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.

  14. TOUGH:
  Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it.

  15. EFFICIENT:
  Waits until he has to crap, then does both.

  16. FAT:
  Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shoes.

  17. LITTLE:
  Stands on box, falls in, drowns.

  18. DRUNK:
  Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.

  19. DISGRUNTLED:
  Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.

  20. CONCEITED:
  Holds two inch dick like a baseball bat.

  21. IMPATIENT:
  Always in a hurry, pisses down back of guy using urinal in front of 
  him.

  22. HUNTER:
  Gets out of camper, unzips fly, steps of cliff, never pisses, but 
  does scare the shit out of himself.

  23. WITHDRAWN:
  Places feet in urinal, pisses down leg, thus eliminate noise.

  24. CROSS-EYED:
  Looks into urinal to the left, pisses into one in the center, flushes 
  one in the right.

  25. CURIOUS:
  Looks over at neighbor, pisses in neighbor's pocket.

  26. COMPETITIVE:
  Stands back, and challenges others to distance contest.

  27. SHOW OFF:
  Stands with back to urinal, and slings tool over shoulder.

  28. CONFUSED:
  Woman in wrong washroom wondering what's with the funny sinks.

