WRiter: pHreaKie
Title: MacBeer?
Type: Misc
Date: 3/19/98

If computer companies made beer

Dos Beer:
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read
the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in
8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However the can is divided
into 8 compartments of 2-oz. each, which have to be accessed
separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going
to keep drinking it after it is no longer available.

Mac Beer:
At first, came only in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can.
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical
when you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list
is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told
that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to
drag your empties to the trash can.

Windows 3.1 Beer:
The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like
Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that
it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality
you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you
are drinking a Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for no
apparent reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open
it.

Windows '95 Beer:
The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but taste more like windows
3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look inside, the cans
only have 16-oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep
drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows '95 Beer
and say they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at the small
print, has some of the same ingredients that come in DOS Beer, even
though the manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.

Windows NT Beer:
Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truck-load. This
causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators.
The can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beers, But the company promises
to change the can to look just like the Window's '95 Beer. Touted as
an "industrial strength" beer, and suggested only for use in bars.
