By:STAR
Date:unknown
Subject: Jokes
Topic: Cybersex-gone bad

              Online computer users often engage in what is
	affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies
	typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone
	lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below,
	one of the two cyber-surfers in the following  transcript of
	an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber
	sex.

	Then again, maybe he does...
	 
	Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
	 
	Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt
	and high heels. I workout everyday, I'm toned and perfect.
	My  measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
	 
	Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses
	and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from
	Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of
	barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
	 
	Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
	 
	Wellhung: OK
	 
	Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music
	playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and
	night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My
	hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to
	fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your
	chest.
	 
	Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are
	trembling.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
	 
             Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off
	slowly.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The
	cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge
	faster, pulling and rubbing.
	 
	Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and
	accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
	 
	Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
	 
	Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
	 
	Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black
	bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breathe
	harder and harder.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think
	it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
	 
	Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm
	reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my
	body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect
	for you.
	 
	Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and
	inspecting the clasp.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to
	feel your tongue all over me.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you
	know, breasts. They're neat!
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now
	I'm nibbling your ear.
	 
	Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered
	with spit and phlegm.
	 
	Sweetheart: What?
	 
	Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with
	the remains of my blouse.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I
	drop it with a plop.
	 
	Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and
	rubbing your hard tool.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are
	cold! Yeeee!
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my
	panties.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going
	all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
	 
	Sweetheart: What's the matter?
	 
	Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm
	choking.
	 
	Sweetheart: Are you OK?

	 
	Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
	 
	Sweetheart: Can I help?
	 
	Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm
	fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do
	you keep your cups?
	 
	Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
	 
	Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in
	the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom.
	Wait, it's dark, I'm lost.
	 
	Where's the bedroom?
	 
	Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
	 
	Wellhung: I found it.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want
	you so badly.

	 
	Wellhung: Me too.
	 
	Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately,
	our naked bodies pressing each other.
	 
	Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face.
	It hurts.
	 
	Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?
	 
	Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I
	place the glasses on the night table.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
	 
	Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly
	across the room and toward the bathroom.
	 
	Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
	 
	Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling
	around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush
	handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
	 
	Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
	 
	Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry
	hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom
	now, blindly feeling my way.
	 
	Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
	 
	Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know
	...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing. 
	 
	Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
	 
	Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I
	kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning.
	I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
	 
	Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
	 
	Sweetheart: What?
	 
	Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an
	incredulous look on my face.
	 
	Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my
	weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see
	what's wrong.
	 
	Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm
	putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet
	nasty blouse.
	 
	Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the
	night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over
	cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
	 
	Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on
	my shoes.
	 
	Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My
	God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is
	on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
	 
	Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
	 
	Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
	 
	Sweetheart: <logged off>

