The Game Review, 55

.x#$$#x. `:$$$$:' The Game Review! .x%#$$$$$$#%x. .x#$$$$#x. .x#$$$#x. `""""$$$$""""' .S$$$$$$$$S.$$$$$$$$$Ss $$$$.sS$Ss.$$$$ $$$$$`$$$$ $$$$$ ************* $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$',$$$$ *ESTABLISHED* $$$$$$$$$$$ """"`$$$$ $$$$$$ ****1995***** $$$$$$$$$ sS$Ss."$$$ $$$$$$ pn `-------------- $$$$$$$$$$$ ------------' $$$$$$$$'` ~VOTED #1 SCENE MAG/REVIEW BY INTERNET USERS~ (a while ago) ~TGR IS PROUD TO BE THE LONGEST RUNNING WEEKLY SCENE MAG/REVIEW, EVER!~ ~~CELEBRATING OVER *3* YEARS IN THE SCENE~~ .a$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$a. $$' . `$$' `$$ ' `$$' s `$$' s `$$ $' $ $$ $ $$ a a $$ $ $$ $ $$ ISSUE #55 $ $ssss$$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ssss$$ $ o o$ $$ $ $ $$ sssss$$ssss. $$ 06/21/98 $. $ $$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ $$ $$. $ ,$$ $ $$ $ $ $$. $ ,$$. $ ,$$ `$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$$&@%o%@&hd' "All the games that are fit to print...and some that aren't." Un-Realistic: "I have never played a game I didn't like." -Stupid Idiot Realistic : "This game sucks!" -Ionizer ____________ News Updates ============ -I welcome you to the VAGINA issue. Figure it out, it ain't hard. I mean if people can say "hey remember that soup episode of Seinfeld?" why not about TGR? -By the next TGR issue, I *WILL* HAVE *3dFX* (I have the Creative Labs 12 mb voodoo2 version, but I was supposed to get the Monster II, so I have to wait for that to be re-sent.) -I'd like to thank d-unknown for helping out TGR and for allowing me to see him naked....err no wait, uh, just kidding ;) -Also, big thanks to Gross for helping design a new addition to the web page. ============================================ HOW TO GET THIS MAGAZINE ON A REGULAR BASIS: ============================================ TGR is released on Sundays, at approximately 8pm (EST). It can be obtained in 2 different ways. The first method obviously being the easiest and best: ***************** ***NEW ADDRESS*** ***************** #1 TGR Web Page: http://www.monmouth.com/~jionin ------------------------------- (Over 83,000 Served) (Note: Contains all issues and gets them first) #2 Through irc, you can dcc from me the newest issue only, simply type: /msg ionizer xdcc send #1 OR /msg iondcc xdcc list <to see list> On the day of release (Sunday), you may also use IonDcc instead of me. - * - * - * - * - * * - * - * - * - * - GAME REVIEWS, RATINGS, UN-BIASED OPINIONS, HELP/TIPS FOR INSTALLING GAMES! [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] -Rating scale: (0-19)/100 = In a nutshell, it sucked! (20-39)/100 = Still crap but slightly better. (40-49)/100 = Possibly worth downloading. (50-69)/100 = Pretty decent game. Might want to check it out. (70-79)/100 = Worth the download if you like that type. (80-89)/100 = Very good, 9 outta 10 its worth the download. (90-99)/100 = Excellent game, a MUST download. 100/100 = HOLY SHIT I'VE NEVER SEEN A BETTER GAME! RATINGS are based on the game idea, graphics, sound, playability, ingenuity, versatility, and a lot of other words ending in `ity'. These games are based on what happens on MY COMPUTER ONLY, unless stated otherwise. I always first follow .nfo directions, and if those don't work or are not available, I then try other ways. So just b/c it doesn't work for me, doesn't mean it won't work for you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -<*><*> THE GAME REVIEW (c) Ionizer <*><*>- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ==================================== ABSOLUTE SPADES v1.1 for Windows 95 A four player (human and/or computer players) game. This is a version of spades called SOLO SPADES. You play as individuals rather than as teams. Works w/Windows 95 and NT. ==================================== -Filename: WPRSPA11.ZIP Umm. Simply put: Absolute Spades typical card game, w/ midi music. Simple, not too much fun, usual boring graphics. VAGINA. One pain in the ass thing: makes you put windows in 800X600 mode. RATING: 45/100 ===================================== ===================================== Absolute Slots v1.2 for Windows 95 Mystery Slots v1.2 for Windows 95 An excellent animated slot machine w/ An excellent animated slot machine w/ 9 spinning wheels and 8 paylines. Has 9 spinning wheels and 8 paylines. Has bonus features like a progressive bonus features like a progressive jackpot and wild symbol which also jackpot, Treasure Chest, Instant brings-up a bonus slot wheels with Winners and Wild Symbols. guaranteed prizes. Works w/Windows 95 and NT. Works w/Windows 95 and NT. ===================================== ===================================== -Filename: WRPABS12.ZIP -Filename: WRPMYS12.ZIP ======================================== WILD WIZARD Slots 95 v1.4 Windows 95--Slot Machine Game A 3-wheel, 5-payline slot game with the largest slot symbols you've ever seen. Includes fun bonus features. 256 color graphics and realistic sounds. Beautiful spinning animation. 32-bit, works w/Windows 95 and NT. ======================================== -Filename: WRPWIZ14.ZIP Another 3 simple games (both very similar), it's slots, few gfx, VERY annoying sound fx, and the ability to bet $64 on one spin? VAGINA. The most expensive slot I know of! I mean really, I should have put ALL these little simple games in one review, b/c that's all they really deserve. RATING: 47/100 (each) ======================================== BONUS WHEEL Slots 95 v1.2 Windows 95--3 Slot Machine Games Three slot machine games in one (Bonus Sevens, Bonus Bars and Bonus Fruit slots). Each has a bonus wheel which can pay up to $3,750. 256 color graphics and realistic sounds. Beautiful spinning animation. ======================================== -Filename: WRPBON12.ZIP Maybe it's just me, but the .exe for this game only seemed to lock up my pc. But then again, WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT THIS GAME? RATING: NA/100 ======================================= WILD BALL KENO v1.2 for Windows 95 A video keno game like in many casinos. Select up to 10 spots (numbers). 20 balls drop. If the numbers on the balls match your spots, you win. Includes a WILD BALL which matches any of you selected spots and doubles your winnings. Works with both Windows 95 and NT. ======================================= -Filename: WRPWBK12.ZIP I think this group has a gambling problem. Another casino like game, this one is Keno. VAGINA! For those who don't know what it is, it's like the lottery, except you pick more than 6 numbers, and then balls are drawn and you get certain amount of money based on how many # (of 80) you picked. Simple game. RATING: 46/100 Fox Sports Soccer '99 (c) Fox [xx/69] /\______ /\______ ____/\______ __ \____ \/ \__ \/ _ \____ \ __/ \____ / _/ _/ \/ / / / _/ _// / / / / / / \ \ /\ / /\ / / \ \/ /\ / / / \__/\ \/RTX______\___/\__/\ \/ / /_/_/ =====\___)===\__)============\___)=\/======= -Filenames: FS99-??.ZIP For some reason, I coulda sworn I've played a soccer game exactly like this. But I guess after Fifa sets the standards, they all seem to follow in its path and then they all seem the same. Another quality soccer game, similar, but still not as good as Fifa, this one has the usual 3d looking guys, lotsa camera and video options. The usual english announcer. Gameplay can be a little choppy in high gfx mode, so hope you have a fast pc and a good video card. A little big in size compared to other soccer games of similar game- play. If you didn't catch the other soccer games and want one, get it. RATING: 77/100 Leisure Suit Larry Casino (c) Sierra[X/46] ______ /| ___ /\______ /\______ / \/ | / _ \ / _____/ _____>1 / |_ / |/ | \\____ \ \____ \ 9 < | < / | / | \/ | \ 9 \ _____\_<____|___\_____ /\_____ / 7 +==\/=====================\/====hh!\/==+ -Filenames: CLSCAS??.ZIP This game is a bit of a disappointment. You would think a big name company like Sierra could make this a little more entertaining. As far as I could understand, all this is, is a bunch of casino games that you click to rather than just run. It's a poor attempt at combining the humorous nature of LSL with casino. And they don't try to make them interact at all. I mean there are other characters and even a gift shop, but unless you have to win a lot before you can access different stuff, then they are merely pictures that you can't do shit with. Vagina. Making this game no better than those 500k windows card games. I guess they're just trying to sucker all the nerdy dorks out there who buy LSL for the pornography it contains and hopes they can fuck them over. Besides, what teenage dork is going to bring it back, and for reason say, "It didn't have anything I could jerk off to, sir!" RATING: 49/100 Hopkins F.B.I. [xx/28] (C): Kult/MP Entertainment, 1998 Release date: 06-15-98 /(_________________________________________________)\ /a!b/ / / ___ / ___ / ___ /___\ __ \ ____ / / _/ / / / / / \ / \ \ _\ \ / \ \________/___/___/___/____/__/____/____/______/__/____/ ┌== w ====== a ===== r ===== r ==== i ==== o === r ===┐ | | └== r ====== e ===== l ===== e ==== a ==== s === e ===┘ -Filenames: WARHPK??.ZIP If ever there was a "real-life like" cartoon-style adventure game, this would be it. Other than LSL, there aren't too many cartoonish adventure games. Most nowadays are all movies. However because it is cartoonish, it gives the company more ability in making it life-like. More characters, more movement, and just an overall sense that it is more life-like than just a game. I mean characters interact and walk around (and not just one thing) and cars move. Yet despite all these positive things, it still kinda sucks, because (1) the guy you control moves way too slow (2) there's too many options like look, search, move, go, open, close, and you don't get to see them or know if you can do them, you just have to hit your right mouse button all the way through all of them to see what is available. Also there are a decent amount of text errors in the dialogue. If they coulda only improved on these few things, it could have been a lot better. But if you're looking for an adventure game to kill a lot of time with, and you don't mind those few things, then get this one, it ain't too bad, even though it has a lot of faults, you'll find it a little more fun or different from the other adventure games. Oh yeah and it has cool music to go along with it. RATING: 70/100 ********************************** Icarus (c) JC Research Type: Diablo Clone [xx/47] * 2.9M Screw the limit! Enjoy a good RPG! ********************************** -Filenames: ICARUS??.ZIP The diz basically states what it is, except they forgot the word "BAD". This is a wannabe knockoff of Diablo. It's very slow paced, take turn fighting, and it's annoying to make your turn everytime (first you have to move to the right square, then figure out if you can hit the guy from there, and if not then you have to start all the way from the beginning of moving...etc,etc). It becomes boring fast...the intro dialogue was also pretty slow and sounding like the same old story line. Vaaaaaaagina. The company JC Research should go do some fucking research on how to make a game that keeps the person play- ing interested. GFX were pretty good, but nothing impressively super, sound -fx were quite annoying after a while. RATING: 56/100 GianTris (c) Marcos Giessler [01/01] . . d$ Demented d$ Dimensions .$$$$$▓S@$s, .$$$$$▓S@$s, `$$$$$ $$$$$ `$$$$$ $$$$$ ÷$$$$$ $$$$$ ÷$$$$$ $$$$$ .$$$$$ $$$$$ .$$$$$ $$$$$ `$$$$$ $$$$$ `$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$ $$$$$s$$Y▓'. $$$$$s$$Y▓'d$$$ `▓Y$$$$$$$$$S@ssssssssss@S$$P▓' -Filename: DD-GTRIS.ZIP I can hear the excitement straight outta the zip file. Another tetris clone, except (ya read for this....) IT HAS BOMBS. Wooopteee fucking doo! The bombs are actually more annoying than helpful. You've set yourself up for a nice quadruple thingy (whatever the hell they're called) and then you get the goddamn bomb and you have to place it down and it explodes shit around, so then you ruined the chance for the quadruple. What a dumb idea... I'm sorry Mr. Marcos Giessler, but you know what? YOU'RE A SHMUCK! Go think of something on your own you fuck-nut. Besides, we're all tired of playing tetris for 30 minutes and then going to sleep at night and as we try to get our 4 hours of sleep, we keep thinking of the little tetris pieces trying to fit in correctly. V-UH-GIN-UH! Oh, and there was a nice dinosaur in the background, as if that was supposed to make the game better. OH YEAH, and did I mention that the bombs (the whole idea behind this) look more like the hand of a nigger wearing a suit <hahaha> giving the black power sign. RATING: 33/100 DiViNE Presentz -+ Fox Sports Golf 99 (c)Fox+Gremlin +- [xx/72] ┌─── ███ ▄▄▄ ▄▄▄ ░▒▓ ▄▄▄ ▀▀▀▀██▄ ▀▀▀▀██▄┐ │ ▄█▄███ ▀▀▀ ███ ▒▓█ ▀▀▀ ▓▒░ ███ ░▒▓ ▓██│ │███ ▓██ ▓▒░ ██▓ ▓██ ░▒▓ █▓▒ ▓██ ▒▓█▀▀▀ │ :██▓ ▒▓█ █▓▒ ██▓ ███ ▒▓█ ██▓ ▓██ ▓██ ░▒▓: │██▓ ░▒▓ ██▓ ███ ███ ▓██ ███ ▓██ ███ ▒▓█│ │▀██▄▄▄▄▄███ ▀█▄█▀ ███ ███ ███ ███▄▓█▀│ └sL!(sac)────── <06.16.98> ─────────────┘ -Filenames: DVNFSG??.ZIP This golf game is similar to um, every other golf game? The standard way of hitting it with the two bars to time it (power and left/right). This one does boast nice camera angles from when you hit it and after you hit it. The graphics in non-3dfx mode are a little weird looking in the horizon. Perhaps they look much better in 3dfx mode (we'll know from next week on, see news). However, the scenery in the game looks somewhat fake, as if it's placed there but doesn't really belong there. But it is cool how the trees move and stuff. Other than that, plenty of holes, got a driving range, putting range, and lotsa grass! VAGINA! Also, make sure you get the two fixes for this. RATING: 76/100 X-COM INTERCEPTOR (C) MICROPROSE <XX/46> __ ______ ______ ____ _____ ____ _____ \// _ \ _ \_\__/ _ \_\__/_\_ \ / / / / /. / / / / / / \______/ \____|_/\___ /___/___/ / --------|___|---------/____\------/____\-- Origin - Origin - Origin - Origin --------------------------------------wk!- -Filenames: XCOMOG??.ZIP Put shortly: Strategy in space. Put longly: S t r a t e g y i n s p a c e . You control your "bases" and all that crap in outer space. You can do re- search, and all the stuff you do on land, except they make it sound more complicated so that unless you're a complete total geek, you can't figure out what the hell to do. Unless you liked x-com in the past, don't bother with this one, it's more confusing and harder than the original. The game is put together very well, as expected, but it's certainly not user friendly, nor does it exactly "grab your attention" to play. Again, only for die-hard x-com fans and their pet dogs. RATING: 78/100 ========================================== The Simpsons Virtual Springfield [xx/23] (REVIEW BASED ON STORE COPY) - ---- --- ----- --- - - ========================================== -Filenames: SVSPR??.ZIP Even though this `game' is way fucking old, I'll just give you a quick run- down on it. You basically tour the town of Springfield in the lovely state of....we'll never know. You can only do certain things, and you'll soon find this quite boring and wondering who would actually buy this. You do stupid things like click here to throw popcorn at people in the movie theatre and dumb shit like that. I think, but it was so long ago that I actually played this game, that you can do certain things to activate other things so you can click other things and have cooler things happen. Follow that? Kinda like an adventure game, but with no point to it really. Gets old fast, even if you love the Simpsons, like I do, this still is slightly less than entertaining. RATING: 62/100 Stratosphere (c) Ripcord Games [X/14] ______ /| ___ /\______ /\______ / \/ | / _ \ / _____/ _____>1 / |_ / |/ | \\____ \ \____ \ 9 < | < / | / | \/ | \ 9 \ _____\_<____|___\_____ /\_____ / 8 +==\/=====================\/====hh!\/==+ -Filenames: CLSSTR??.ZIP A pretty nice game. Basically you try and build a fort and attack others. Similar to all the RTS (Real Time Strategy, for you slow ppl) games out there except it's neither on land, like C&C, nor in space, like Starcraft. You're fort is kinda just hovering. So you can change lotsa camera angles and there is all the usual things associated with a fort; observatory, walls, etc, etc. The graphics are pretty good, and the sound is appropriate. Overall appear- ance is very good. The game is kinda tough to figure out what to do, so if you plan to get into it, try out the help stuff first to get a little walk- through on it. It deserves a good rating because of the quality, but no one is really going to want to download this and I'd agree, cuz it's nothing new. RATING: 77/100 EXTREME ANGLER (C) HEAD GAMES <xx/16> __ ______ ______ ____ _____ ____ _____ \// _ \ _ \_\__/ _ \_\__/_\_ \ / / / / /. / / / / / / \______/ \____|_/\___ /___/___/ / --------|___|---------/____\------/____\-- Origin - Origin - Origin - Origin --------------------------------------wk!- -Filenames: EXTOGN??.ZIP For a fishing game, this one ain't half bad. You at least get to navigate around in your boat and travel the river/lake to find fish. Then you set your target with the red cross and cast your rod. Heh funny, in fishing, you cast your ROD to try get something that smells like FISH. Eh, ok so that isn't so funny. Anyway the game has plain graphics, but they are good, but there just isn't much except water and the tip of your boat. Although when you do catch a fish, they show you a nice somewhat 3D picture of it, rotating it for you to see all of its splendor. A good game for dad or grandpa whose lives are over, but for the youngins, go play some basketball. RATING: 64/100 Emergency: Fighters For Life (c) TopWare [xx/43] ______ /| ___ /\______ /\______ / \/ | / _ \ / _____/ _____>1 / |_ / |/ | \\____ \ \____ \ 9 < | < / | / | \/ | \ 9 \ _____\_<____|___\_____ /\_____ / 8 +=\/======================\/====hh!\/==+ -Filenames: CLSEMR??.ZIP Finally a really good game! This one is nice. (Oh yeah and nice job with the installer again, but I think the SouthPark one is much better. Also I hope that none of you are in that picture, b/c if so you look like a dork. The game starts you off with the usual intro with all the company shit and nice music and gfx, then they give you a little intro the game itself, show- ing you what "Emergency" is all about. Then your placed right into the game, your first scenario, as nicely presented by the animation for it (although very grainy) is a traffic accident. They show how it happened and then tell you what to do. Too bad that only the first mission movie is included, or else the game would be too big. The object of the game is to deploy the right people and once on the scene, you have to make sure they do their jobs (and that the police officers don't just sit there and eat donuts). This game is good, and is very entertaining and requires seom thought, but it is still really good. It's Sim City style, but you're not really building, you're handling the situations presented to you. So it's not like you can just sit there and wait or anything. It's a little tricky to get started, so here's what you do. Click the car, then click the personell that correspond with it, and WAIT, DO NOT DO ANYTHING, once they are all on the line in front of the cars, then click "start" this will dispatch the guys with the car, or else it resets. Once you're on the scene, you'll figure out the rest. This game is challenging, and each mission involves very different ordeals. For example the 3rd mission has you searching for a guy lost in the mountains while your in a helicopter. Sorry for the long review, but it was needed. Get it if you're looking for something different, and you're patient and willing to learn how to play the game, because it is rewarding, somehow, despite the fact that it has a good amount of flaws (size of ppl, movement). RATING: 81/100 BIG GAME HUNTER (c) HEAD GAMES [XX/69] ┌─── ███ ▄▄▄ ▄▄▄ ░▒▓ ▄▄▄ ▀▀▀▀██▄ ▀▀▀▀██▄┐ │ ▄█▄███ ▀▀▀ ███ ▒▓█ ▀▀▀ ▓▒░ ███ ░▒▓ ▓██│ │███ ▓██ ▓▒░ ██▓ ▓██ ░▒▓ █▓▒ ▓██ ▒▓█▀▀▀ │ :██▓ ▒▓█ █▓▒ ██▓ ███ ▒▓█ ██▓ ▓██ ▓██ ░▒▓: │██▓ ░▒▓ ██▓ ███ ███ ▓██ ███ ▓██ ███ ▒▓█│ │▀██▄▄▄▄▄███ ▀█▄█▀ ███ ███ ███ ███▄▓█▀│ └sL!(sac)────── <06.17.98> ─────────────┘ -Filenames: DVNBGH??.ZIP Try try try said the little engine to Ionizer. But try try try I did, and I followed the install directions from the nfo word by word, and I still was not able to get this one running. I tried 4 times, and each time was a fail- ure. Hey guys, I don't mind following a few steps, which I did, but even still, you have two different .rar groups, then you have a separate install, it's a little confusing for most people out there, but nonetheless I was able to follow the directions, and edit the .reg, but it still asked for things from D:\art...etc. Sorry. Vagina. RATING: NA/100 Animated Blackjack 97 v1.3 Ultisoft Win95 [01/01]__/\______/\______/\\_____ ____| | _ ▓| ____//__ |o | ___| ___ |_ |. o|_ | __ \_ ) __) |; __)) _| i_____/____i |___________) \\_____I ──────── I_____/ ───────────── [06/18/98] KiCK ASS CRACKiNG 1998 ───────────────────────────────────── -Filename: KACABJ13.ZIP Typical blackjack for windows, except they give you gay little drawings of characters, about 5 or 6 different ones. They make stupid faces when you win or lose. VAAAAAAAGINA! You should all know how to play blackjack by now. RATING: 46/100 ▀▄ ▀ ████▓ ▀ ▀ ▄██▄▀▀ ▀ █████ . . ████▓ ▀▀▀▀ rNZ █████ . . █████▀███▄ ████ ▄███▀████▓ ████▓ ████▌████▐███▓ ████▓ . . ████▓ ████▓████████▓ █████ : : ████▓ ████▓███▓█████▄████▓ : ┌ ▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ┐ ┘-[ 06 / 19 / 98 ]-----------└ | Absolute Spades 1.2 | ┐ For Windows95/NT ┌ └----------------[ 01 / 01 ]-┘ -Filename: H-SPAD12.ZIP Uhh, basically the same as all the fifty other card games released this week. Nothing different, this game is called S-P-A-D-E-S. If you don't know what it is, don't bother, if you like SPADES, get it. It's as simple as that. Has background midi, which happen to be the same midis as the first few card games reviewed in this issue. RATING: 45/100 ============================ Stats Fantasy Football Coach Disk 4/4 Prodigy...Time For A Change ============================ -Filenames: PDGYFF?.ZIP A simple util that let's you maintain your own fantasy league. It's basic- ally like a portfolio that let's you enter the names and stuff. Nothing fancy, you could probably do the same by using a spreadsheet util, but they gave it a name and limited features and then it goes in the bargain bin. Not a game, so it get's no rating, but it had to do with football so it got the pleasure of appearing in TGR. RATING: NA/100 Team Apache FINAL (c) Mindscape [xx/48] /\______ /\______ ____/\______ __ \____ \/ \__ \/ _ \____ \ __/ \____ / _/ _/ \/ / / / _/ _// / / / / / / \ \ /\ / /\ / / \ \/ /\ / / / \__/\ \/RTX______\___/\__/\ \/ / /_/_/ =====\___)===\__)============\___)=\/======= -Filenames: TMAFIN??.ZIP I didn't get to review this one when the first "un-final" was put out, so I will get to do it now. This is one of the finer flight sim games out there. The detail is great, and it isn't overlly impossible to figure out how to fly. I'm not saying you'll be able to lift off and figure it out in 30 secs but it won't take you days either. Graphics are great, sound is great, it's a great flight sim game, and in case you didn't know, you're in a helicopter. You have the usual missions of trying to blow up shit. Weapons are the usual and options are the usual too. If you're looking for a flight game, download it, you won't be disappointed and it's worth it. RATING: 83/100 Heart of Darkness (c) Infogrames [xx/40] ▀▀▀▀█▄▀▀▀▀█▄▀▀▀▀██ ▓█ ██ ▓█ ▀▀▀█▄ ▄█▀██▀▀▀ ▄█ :▓█▄█▀ ▓█ ██ ▓█ ▀ ██▄█▀ ██ ▓█ ██ ▀█▄▄ ▓█▄██ |██ █▓ ██▀██ ██ ▄ ██ ██ ██ ██▀██ ▄▄ ██ ██ ██ │██▄█▀ ██ █▓ ▀█▄██ ██ █▓ ▀█▄▄▄ █▓ ▓█▄█▀ ██ █▓ └────[ RELEASE DATE: 06/20/1998 ]─────roy──── -Filenames: BLHHOD??.ZIP This is a neat little platform game. It's similar in style to the old game called "Out of this World". It involves skill (logical thinking, shooting abilities and such. The first two levels are fun, but the third one (the one where Backlash aparently stopped too b/c they have a saved game there) is the one where shit gets hard. The background scenery is nice and has moving stuff, but the character himself kinda remains me of the old KQ series where they were very blocky looking. All in all, it's still a fun platform game, and will most likely keep you busy for a while. You get guns and other stuff to shoot, and you can jump, run and all that junk. Most of you will get frustrated though. A nice little thing this game has is that you don't have to save and load everytime you die, it keeps a place saved automatically right before pre-determined "hard parts". But when you get to the 3rd level it kinda has those pre-determined hard parts further and further away. RATING: 77/100 ___________________________________ Soldiers at War (c) SSI [xx/33X5.6] An independant release ----------------------------------- -Filenames: INDSAW??.ZIP You know, nothing pisses me off more than a game that is 50 disks @ 3 megs a disk, AND DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING .EXE IN ANY OF THE DIRECTORIES AFTER UNACED! The dude who packaged this claimed to an anonymous person, that "the last 8 files were corrupted...and they will be re-released...with a fix." Well, that's true, it has a crc-error in the last 8 ace's, and he said he will re-release those, but you know what, if you are going to put out a game that is 150 megs just to d/l, you BETTER FUCKING make sure it works the first time. RATING: NA/100 ROCKMAN X4 (c) CAPCOM [xx/18] ▀▀▀▀█▄▀▀▀▀█▄▀▀▀▀██ ▓█ ██ ▓█ ▀▀▀█▄ ▄█▀██▀▀▀ ▄█ :▓█▄█▀ ▓█ ██ ▓█ ▀ ██▄█▀ ██ ▓█ ██ ▀█▄▄ ▓█▄██ |██ █▓ ██▀██ ██ ▄ ██ ██ ██ ██▀██ ▄▄ ██ ██ ██ │██▄█▀ ██ █▓ ▀█▄██ ██ █▓ ▀█▄▄▄ █▓ ▓█▄█▀ ██ █▓ └────[ RELEASE DATE: 06/21/1998 ]─────roy──── -Filenames: BLH-RM??.ZIP What you've got here is a bad mega-man knockoff for the PC. You're typical boring platform shooting game, with this guy (who I guess I just don't remem- ber but was from the NES age) who looks just like mega-man, suit and all. You basically go through levels and shoot different characters and each stage end has the usual boss. Nothing fancy, you can hit some f-key to change the resolution. Not worth d/l unless you for some reason can't seem to find any- thing else of the 50 million games released this week. Vagina. RATING: 52/100 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*> THE GAME OF THE WEEK <*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -This week's choice was tough to pick due to the large assortment of releases in this 7 day period, which we often refer to as a week. Anyhow, after analysis of this, it goes to CLASS for their release of EMERGENCY. There were some others worthy of it too, but this is the first game in which we see the "Sim City" style game used in a different way. This game is hard to grasp the hold of, but it is a good game if you get involved. Honorable mentions go to RAZOR for Team Apache Final, and Backlash for Heart of Dark- ness (which woulda won, but it's too much like games that were out a LONG time ago). Congratulations to CLASS for this fine release. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*> CORRECTIONS <*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -None that I know of. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*> LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO <*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- THIS MAGAZINE IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER, CONDONES THE PIRATING, STEALING, OR ANY OTHER ILLEGAL MEANS OF OBTAINING SOFTWARE. I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS AS A RESULT OF READING THIS MAGAZINE, NOR HAVE I DONE ANYTHING ILLEGAL TO OBTAIN THE REVIEWED GAMES. IF YOU LIKE HOW THE REVIEW OF A GAME SOUNDS THEN BY ALL MEANS PURCHASE IT AND SUPPORT THE SOFTWARE COMPANY. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*> CLOSINGS <*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -What a week, probably downloaded 3/4 of a gig on my little 56k modem. -Hope you found this weeks reviews helpful, please feel free to write and say anything you want, I even welcome hate mail! -Ionizer [THE GAME REVIEWer] Comments/Complaints send to [email protected] (NO GAME REQUESTS) .a$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$a. $$' . `$$' `$$ ' `$$' s `$$ $' $ $$ $ $$ a a $$ $ $$ $ $ssss$$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ o $$ $$ $ $ $$ sssss$$ $. $ $$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $$. $ ,$$ $ $$ $ $ $$. $ ,$$ $$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$ $$' o '$$$ $ $$' s `$$ `$$$$$ $$ $ $$$ $ $$ $ $$ $o $$$$$ $$ $ $$$ $ $$ $ $$ ~' o$$$$$ $$ $ $$$ $ $$ sssss$$ %. ^$$$$$ $$ $ $$$s s$$ $ $$ $$ $$$$$ $$. $ ,$$$$@. .@$$$. $ ,$$ $$ $$$$$ `$$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$hd' Copyright 1995,1996,1997,1998 Ionizer Inc. #167A939