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Anti Warez Association, 1. by Anti Warez Association (AWA)

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The Evolution of a Warez D00d.
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│First Release From...                         AWA Home:                   │
│                         ┌──────────────────┐           ThoughtCrime      │
│                         │    / \    / \    │          (617) 599-7154     │
│                         │   /-\ \/\/ /-\   │                             │
│                         └──────────────────┘                             │
│Anti Warez Association * August 1993 Edition (Volume I) *  We Crack Skulls│
│                                                                          │
│      Founding Members:  Jason Farnon - Alexander Knox - Ozone Pilot      │

    This is AWA's first release.  We know why we started the group, but we
have no idea where the hell we are heading.  Before we can get into different
aspects of 'zine writing, we must first put away the evil one, Timebomb.
That is the sole purpose of this issue.

"Shut up Buthead.  Warez suck."



 1) Introduction
 2) Official Document of Establishment
 3) The Evolution of a Warez D00d
 4) My K-rad Phish Phriend
 5) TGW Wannabe Courier
 6) The 0 Day Girl
 7) The Lame List
 8) Day in the Life of John Q. Warez
 9) The Story of the Pipeline
10) Objective Critique of a TimeBomb Post
11) Pirates With an Attitude Information


                    Official Document of Establishment:

                      (Anti Warez Association (AWA)

August 4th 1993


        It is hereforth proclaimeth the establishment of the Anti Warez
Association by it's founders and charter members:

                                 Ozone Pilot
                                Jason Farnon
                               Alexander Knox

On this date, Wednesday, August 4th Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Three, the
Anti Warez Association announces it's establishment and openly begins
soliciting membership.


        The purpose of this document is to serve as a constitution of the
group, and to lay forth it's policies and goals.  The policies within
have been reviewed and agreed upon by the Board of Directors, OP, JF, AK.
They are subject to change without consultation on the part of the general
membership.  We are your holy rulerz.  We make the big decisions.  After all,
we wouldn't start a group if we weren't in for some power trip, now would we?

Association Motto/Slogan:

             "We don't crack software, we crack kitchen counters"


        The goal of the Anti Warez Association is to produce literature
informing the general computer public of the horror, pain, and suffering of
the individuals trapped in the warez world.  We struggle to bring warez
d00dez into therapy and treatment, and we support those who have recovered.
We attack those who refuse help.  We aim to please.


        There is life beyond warez.  We have been there and back, we have
seen the horrific damage it can cause.  We have seen the pathetic souls
who have fallen prey to multinode warez boards, we have witnessed the
devastating effects of 3 gigs of online storage.  We have see those scarred
for life by local caller ratios.  Nobody is beyond recovery, except the
almighty leader of the evil warez world, Timebomb of 617.  The black hole
of waredom called TGW is an evil empire created upon greed, hoarding, and
high speed HST.  We will win, we will conquer.

Membership Solicitation:

        Anyone, except the evil one himself, may join.  In order to join,
you must contact Jason Farnon, Alexander Knox, or Ozone Pilot for full
information.  The best way to join is to call the Archiving and Propaganda
Department itself.  It's called ThoughtCrime and it's number will be given
a bit later.  You will be required to read the latest AWA releases and be
familiar with what we produce.  You will be required to submit an essay that
will be reviewed by the Board of Directors.  There is no particular
subject to deal with, but any type of parallel or symbolism of the tragic
warez world is strongly suggested.  It may be fiction or non-fiction.
Whatever, we don't care.  You may submit as many as you like.  You will be
contacted by one of the Directors as to your standing with the group, once
your essay has been reviewed.


        We request that all members in good standing submit at least one
work per month.  Submissions will be grouped together and released as
the Directors deem necessary.  There is no set schedule for releases.  You
may upload your submission to ThoughtCrime, or it may be sent to one
of the Directors on another board.
        We do not dictate what you put in your essay.  If the essay is not
funny or creative, it will not be published.  In other words, it has to meet
certain criteria to be published.  If you are a Good Guy, you will have no
problem understanding the criteria.  If you are one of The Evil One's
disciples, it may be difficult.  It's up to you.

Rules of Conduct:

                        1) Scorn the warez world
                        2) Torment Timebomb and his cronies
                        3) End of rules

Note from the Directors -

Ozone Pilot:  "I am an artist.  I create art.  I create art that destroys
what the warez d00dz hold dear.  Through the printed word, we will triumph
over Timebomb and the Critical Condition multinode empire.  We will rule,
it is just a matter of time.  Pass the butter."

Alexander Knox: "Greets go out to RZR, FLT, USA, THG, TDT, and of course
TGW.  Where would I be without you today?  In three years you will realize
everything you did today was stupid, remember that.  "This lobster was alive
when it hit the frothy, boiling water.  The horror.  The horror." Pass the
peas please."
Jason Farnon:  "To say that I am against pirating software would be
hypocritical.  I am against the Warez society, the couriers, and those
ansis really fucking piss me off.  Yeh, and I use what I download, not
donload for the sake of downloading.  To sum it all up, 'Warez Suck.
Huh-huh.  Huh-huh.'  Where's the 4C?"

Contacting AWA:

AWA is based out of ThoughtCrime.  Call (617) 599-7154.  There are no warez
here.  No surprise eh?  Most anyone but The Child himself can get on.
Submissions center and origin site for AWA releases.  Liberate yourself,
call now.  No ANSI's.  Just cracked kitchen counters and bludgeoned skulls
of pathetic warez d00dz.

Send AWA internet mail to: comrade@gnu.ai.mit.edu


                        The Evolution of a Warez D00d

    There is just a limit on how many warez d00dz I can take.  Their 0
day releases, their couriers, their ansis.  Especially those fucking
ansis.  They just burn my retinas straight through.  Anyways, I have
realized that something must be done about these rodents.  But the
warez population is too large to kill with a simple copy of "BC's
Quest for Tires."  I have decided to turn to mass media in the hopes
of reaching a larger section of the population.  Warez d00dz, although
surrounded by an elitist aura, are hardly that.  They are the most
moronic forms of intelligence on this planet and are very easily
manipulated.  Even a novice modemer should not be intimidated by them.
He should look at them as a gold-mine of opportunity.  As someone on
irc said so wonderfully,

    "#hack is full of users who steal software,
     #warez is full of users who steal software,
     and tell everybody about it."


so on with it...

    There are many aspects of a Warez d00d that need to be discussed.
But to start off for the completely baffled, I will explain the warez
subculture as briefly as possible.  Warez d00dz get illegal copies of
copyrighted software.  If it has copy protection on it, they break the
protection so the software can be copied.  Then they distribute it
around the world via several gateways.  Warez d00dz form badass group
names like RAZOR and the like.  They put up boards that distribute the
latest ware, or pirate program.  The whole point of the Warez sub-
culture is to get the pirate program released and distributed before
any other group.  I know, I know.  But don't ask, and it won't hurt as
much.  This is how they prove their poweress.  It gives them the right
to say, "I release King's Quest IVXIX before you so obviously my
testicles are larger." Again don't ask...

The Evolution of the Warez d00d

    Understand the warezdome is a stage.  An uncomfortable stage that
for some passes quickly, while for others painfully lingers for
eternity.  It rarely can be avoided.  That is understandable.  Even
the best of the best have been hit by Warez fever once or twice in
their lives.  But they wouldn't be the best if they still had it.
Those that still have it are Warez d00dz, and they will always have
it.  Its like that 35 year old guy at the Butcher Shop who is still
going through puberty.  You almost have to feel sorry for him, but
modern medicine only can do so much.

    So how do these stages work?  Well, to better understand these
stages, I will use a local Warez d00d whose handle is 'Timebomb' as an
example.  Local for me being 617 area code.  I am using Timebomb not
as revenge, but because his story is such a classic example of
warezdom, and because his idiocy convinced me to write this.  Timebomb
liked playing arcade games.  Those beeps and zonks used to let him
escape from reality; which was very sad for him to say the least.  He
loved melting away in a euphoria of pac-man and arkanoids.  There is
nothing he would rather do than sit at the arcade all day blasting
aliens.  Escape from his annoying parents, those kids at school who
beat the shit out of him, and other things of the like.   This brings
me into another great point that I will get into later.  That is that
warez d00dz are not what their handle sounds like.  So if you find a
Warez d00d with the handle "Master of Destruction Huge Motherfucker I
will rip your Fucking Head Off,"  think the exact opposite, and that
is approximately what the warez d00d looks/acts like.  Timebomb is
a great example.   You expect a Timebomb to be crazy and volatile,
exploding any second sending bits and pieces of shrapnel into little
children; hardly.

    I hate tangents.  That paragraph was getting too long anyways.
So to continue these splurges at the arcade took a big bite out of
Timebomb's piggy bank.  Being sexually repressed like most Warez d00dz
are, he had to keep his pornography collection in good stock. (I am
not flaming.  Although it may sound rude, I'm just speaking the
truth.)  So he decided to get a computer, to play arcade games at
home.  He could have the enjoyment of pole position but now with two
added bonuses:  1) Electricity would be the only expenditure 2) He
wouldn't have to interact with people as much.  So he got his first
computer for his birthday, after begging his parents profusely, and
doing some special favors for his father.  (That was a direct flame
having no factual backup.  Disregard it.)  The computer came in.
There is no need to go into details.  Lets just say it had a power
switch, which is all that mattered for Timebomb.  The computer was
shabby, but Timebomb was amazed by the machine.  He now had a new
friend.  It would not bother him, would act on his every command, and
would not make fun of him.  He loved it, and spent a plethora of hours
playing with it.  His grades dropped, but it did not matter.  He
stopped eating, sleeping, and spent his hours on the computer.  His
parents wondered what had happened to their son.  No this is not a
story of a hacker breaking into Western Union like Fry Guy.  No,
Timebomb was not infiltrating NASA.  Timebomb got Warez fever, and he
had it bad.

    How exactly did Timebomb get this fever?  Well its no something
thats going around in school.  Nor is it something that you can take
drugs or get a vaccine for.  Warez fever does different things for
different people, and its effect are varied on the individual.
Timebomb to this day still has it, and its ferocity is much stronger
than the day he got it.  So how exactly did Timebomb get the fever?
When he got his computer, he started playing the games that came with
the computer.  There were not too many of them.  A kid or two at
school would start copying games for him.  He liked these games a lot
better and wondered how the kid had such a steady flow of games.  He
found files with the extension .nfo in some of the games.  They
heralded the groups that gave the software to everybody, the members
of the groups, when the program was released, and bulletin boards to
get more software from.  The concept of bbs was foreign to Timebomb.
Sure he had heard about them, but call one?  Never!  The games were
getting harder and harder for Timebomb to play, and he decided that
he'd better get a joystick, to enhance his gaming pleasure.  His
parents gave him the money for some holiday or another.  But before
Timebomb went out and purchased t he joystick, something shiny caught
his eye in the newspaper.  A 1200 bps modem for only 29.95!  With a
little spare change instead of getting a joystick, he could
communicate with the world!  He decided the joystick would have to
wait; he wanted more games.  Here we have the first sign of Warez
fever.  Warez d00dz collect large amounts of programs on bulletin
boards and on hard disks without even running them.  The idea that
they have a lot of programs is enough for them to buy more hard disk
space.  This phenonema is called being a "warez pk-rat".  Note that the
"a" was left out intentionally.  This is due to the use of the file
compressor "pk-zip", that warez d00dz rely heavily on to store their loads
of warez.

    So now Timebomb had his modem.  He hurriedly installed it into his
computer.  While he was setting the dip switches, something hit him.
His hardware is old, and the storage of games takes speed and space.
Maybe he should opt for a better computer?  Another sign of Warez
fever...  Wanted hardware just for the sake of warez.  That is no
reason to have hardware.  Timebomb called a local board his friend has
given him and saw the fateful message:


    That was the beginning of the end.  Timebomb called Public Domain
boards in his calling circle, and from them he got the numbers of
other boards in the area.  He downloaded public domain software, and
was happy, but not happy enough.  He knew there was copyrighted
software out there.  The real computer underground as his friends
bragged.  He wanted to have the latest games, and become a
Cybercriminal.  Then the kids at school would know he is cool!
"Fucking assholes will have to learn the hard way!" he thought to
himself as he drank his Ovaltine.  After a large amount of coaxing of
a classmate, and a large sum of money being exchanged, Timebomb got
the phone number of a local pirate bulletin board.  He ran home,
almost getting hit by a car, but he did not care!  He would be a
software pirate, just like in the movies.  He dialed the number, got
his familiar 'CONNECT 1200' message, but then something strange
happened.  The system hung up on him with the message 'bad rate too
l⌠▐DŸp“–┤"  He wonder what this meant so he called back again and
again, with the same exact result.  He ran back to his friend and told
him his story.  His friend explained that pirate programs were too
large to be transferred at 1200 baud, and many pirate boards do not
allow that speed callers to call.  He did mention that long distance
pirate bulletin boards sometimes will let low speed callers in,
because they are paying for the phone call.

    Timebomb ran back home.  He realized he had a huge list of pirate
bulletin boards in those .nfo files from those games, and he started
dialing them profusely.  One by One by One.  Many he got erased off
because the systems felt he did not have any references.  Other less
elitist pirate boards he got accepted onto.  Those pirate boards he
could later use as references.  He started understand more and more of
the warez subculture, downloading games and even became a courier for
a group called WRU (Warez R' Us).  Everything was peachy, and he was
spending more and more time on the computer.  He did not care, but his
parents did.  They cared even more when they got his phone bill, which
was to say the least four digits.  Reality hit Timebomb.  What the
hell was he doing?  He cannot possibly call these long distance boards
and expect not to be charged for them!  This was crazy!  He needed to
lay off the long distance boards and get on more of the local ones.
So he skipped a baud and went out and purchased a 9600 baud modem.
Surly the investment would save him grief in the long run.  Since he
now had expertise in the warez scene, he had no problem getting access
to local pirate bulletin boards.  And this is where Timebomb stands to
this day.  Of course he has had occasional pangs to call long distance
boards again, and his phone bill is there to prove it.  He has started
his own group called TGW (Those Great Warez).  And what do they do may
I ask?  They release Warez of course!  Very lame if you ask me.

    Let me quickly go back.  I said that warezdom was a stage.  People
move on.  Some people stay in the Public Domain stage.  Some go into a
different stage after warez, which I would rather not talk about here.
But the worst place to be left is warez. Warezdom is a waste land.
There is nothing more humiliating or painful to live in a warez world.
It is even worse when you want to go out of the warez world, but you cannot
help couriering.  Its like that bourbon in the morning.  You just need to
have it.  Its too late to stop.  Then I would justify suicide.

    So now that you realize in very basic terms how a warez dood gets
to his present state, lets get into one's psyche.  Its very easy
because they are so textbook.  Freud would be proud.  Warez d00ds are
for the most part loosers.  In loosers I mean unsuccessful at the game
of life.  They are shunned by society, and loved only by their mother.
They rarely have friends, and it is even a bigger rarity to see them
with someone of the opposite sex.  They shun companionship, because
the only companion ship they need is their terminal and they friends
on the other end of the phone line.  Warez d00dz get along so well
because they can relate to each other so damn well.  They are all
pathetic in their own little way.  Although they do not realize they
are pathetic, they see their lameness in their fellow warez d00dz and
indirectly the hook up and relate.  Its actually very simple.


    That is the only word you will need to know.  Warez d00dz want to
belong.  They have been shunned by everyone, and thus turn to
cyberspace for acceptance.  That is why they always start groups like
TGW, FLT, USA and the like.  Structure makes them happy.  They belong
to a group.  They courier for a group.  Fuck the phone bills, I
fucking belong man!  They crack for a group.  Their board distributes
for a group.  These groups sometimes charge money and boards pay to
get the latest 0 day warez.  Sometimes over one hundred dollars a
month.  If this isn't moronic in its own right, I don't know what is.
Warez d00dz will never have a handle like "Pink Daisy" because warez
d00dz are insecure.  Only someone who is very secure with a good dose
of self-esteem can stand up to the cries of fag and girlie-man.  More
likely you will find warez d00dz with handles like:  Doctor Death,
Deranged Lunatic, Hellraiser, Mad Prince, Dreamdevil, The Unknown,
Renegade Chemist, Terminator, and Twin Turbo.  They like to sound
badass when they can hide behind their terminals.  More likely, if
you were given a sample of 100 people, the person whose handle is
Hellraiser is the last person you'd associate with the name.  There
are loosers in the world who have not discovered computers.  Everyone
knows one or two of these insecure people.  And you know as well as I
do that those people are as easy as hell to manipulate.  So warez
d00dz can not be any harder.  Right?  Right!

    Basically when you apply for a warez board, you will be asked one
or more of these questions.  They are elitist in the baud they allow
to get on, so if you do not have that baud, you are fucked.  Once you
get on, there will be questions:

What kind of hardware do you have?

Always answer with the best available.
i.e.  486/50  16 Megz Ram 800 Meg hard drive
Warez d00dz don't leave their terminals, its not like they'll check.

What are you three best boards?

Get an info file and pick some boards.  Put them down.  They dont

What are your three latest Warez?

Very important because no matter what you answer for the other
questions if you kick ass on this one you're all set.  Remeber that
Warez d00dz love decimal points, the word Beta, and Unreleased.  Take
a prominent application.  Microsoft Windows per se.  Adding a number
i.e. Microsoft Windows 4.0 is going too far.  But saying you have
Microsoft Windows 3.2 Unreleased will get a warez d00d drooling.  You
will be let on, and then you can worm yourself out of your like.  Pick
up any issue of COMPUTE! magazine and jot down the latest games.  Then
say you have them.

Users that can vouch for you?

Don't put users that are on that board, because they obviously don't
know you!  Put obscure people.  Make shit up for god's sake.
Suicidal Muppet from the UK.  Runs an invite only board.  Talk to him.
6 gigs latest warez.


You get the picture.  Its very simple, because everyone needs warez
once in a while.  Its not like people go out and buy software =)  But
to hoard and release is disqusting.

    Here are some excerpts from the message bases from a local board
called Shinbone Alley.  Its a decent warez board, that HAD good
discussion and was not caught up in the 0 day warez fever.  That is
until the sysop went away for the summer.  Now to say the least its
total anarchy, but i'm not complaining...

>FYI - My board IS up, and I am keeping the Number private, right
>now only about 10 Locals have it, and i am accepting 5% Locals....

>    Timebomb -=TGW=-

     Lets analyze this.  First of all, his board just went up, and he
is allready being a typical Warez d00d.  Elitist at best.  He allready
is only allowing five percent of callers to be local.  That way long
distance callers can bring 0 day warez from all corners of the globe.
And he belongs to something.  He signs '-=TGW=-' with everything, so
we know he is not a misfit.  When he really is...

>Alright, you hate warez? Hmm, SO, i guess you are running on a fully
>registered legit copy of DOS, and a fully registered legit Comm program.
>And what about the Celerity you were running, it was not paid for! Hmm, use
>a word processor? And i suppose you paid over $300 to go to a store any buy
>it, It seems that your D/L activity, I have the logs, on other boards, i.e.
>Oasis, ASCII seems to show you Download alot of Warez....

>    Timebomb -=TGW=-

    See how stupid warez rodents are?!  They just don't get it.  Its very
simple.  I pirate software when I need it.  I don't turn it into a
cult with elitist rules and moronic hierarchy.  I don't run up a 600
dollar phone bill getting the warez out to Madagascar so my group gets
recognition.  Hey, I just might have something better to do with my

>Alright Jason Farnone or however the fuck you spell it. You think you are
>such a fucking Internet kool dude....Well, Try these on:

>   PC/MAC wAreZ site.
>       ETHOME MAC  site
>   (IBM?) Amiga wArEz
>    Amiga/Cray/VMS
>    Occult/IBM software/bondage images
>     Mac/IBM site
>   Tasteless Image site
>     IBM/mac wArEz,Gif/Jpg Porn
>      Boys Pics/Software
>   oriental/Bondage XXX erotica site
>    Erotic stories/images.
>     Archived erotic image site
>    Sophia Antipolis. Erotic image site
>   Gay/Guy Pics (Women with toys)
>  GIF/JPG/Porn images 24 hours
>   Bondage erotica images
>     Nude Pics

(Ed Note: I cut down the list.  It was a lot bigger.)

>                      Brought to you by: TIMEBOMB

>All of these are WAREZ sites, with some porn Gif filez thrown in, So, who
>is so kool after all...??????

>OH YEA - the site: has over 18gigs of WAREZ!


>· ┌───────────────────┐ ·
>· │     Timebomb      │ ·█
>· │ President -=TGW=- │ ·█
>· └───────────────────┘ ·█
> ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

    This is a warez d00dz attempt to become a hacker while still sufering
from warez syndrome.  Its not like he is in recovery, he still has it bad.
So he attempts to post soem cool shit on the internet, but instead posts
places with "18 gigs of Warez" and "Boys Pics".  We don't want to get into
Timebomb's sexual orientation.  He is even so proud of his hacker post that
he has branded his name in capitols on it.  At the bottom of the screen is
again that big flag that says, "I'm Insecure!"  Now he has it in a cool ansi
box, and its no longer just '-=TGW=-'.  Now he is president of something!
Won't momma be proud.  I told her her son would be president one day!  She
never listened said I was a failure playing computer games.  Ahh, the

    As you can see warez doodz are a life form below gnats.  They are
loosers in real life, and with little thinking are loosers in
cyberspace.  They're stuck.  Their damn fucking ansis are hurting my
damn head.  die.  die.  die.  But before I leave, i'll let Ozone Pilot

>Why do we have this urge to flame you?  Heh, if you saw a roach on your
>kitchen counter, you'd crush it right?  If you saw a squirrel in the road,
>you'd hit the gas pedal right?  If you saw Ultima VXIXII on a warez board,
>you'd download it right?  Well, you get the idea...

>You leave yourself open to it.  You are a sitting duck.


jason farnon
ozone pilot


             My K-Rad Phish Phriend / Warezeriffic Aquatic Courier

I was not the type to ever doubt the existance of lower forms of intelligence.
So I went out.  Today, I went out and to the pet store.  It was warm today.
Really warm.  So I went to the pet store.
        Let me tell you about my friend, before we get any further into this
story.  He's pretty lazy, and never really goes anywhere.  Doesnt say much,
very quiet person.  He's always around when you need him, which isnt often
because there really is no practical use for him.  He is always wet.  Always.
He is entrapped, you see, in my room, in a small 10 gallon tank.  He is a
fish, in case you havent realized that by now.  A small fish, about 2 inches
long, with a black stripe and red fins.  He looked awefully lonely today,
so I figured I would cheer him up and bring him a companion.  So I hopped
in the elite mobile and drove straight to the pet shop.  They moved the tanks
since the last time I had visited, and I was awefully confused for several
minutes.  I started to panic, and I blacked out.  When I came to, I got
off the floor and cought a glimpse of the tanks new area, in the back of
the store.  Whew.
        I wandered into the area, and skimmed past all the goldfish, all
the little glowing fish, and past the fish that sported teeth.  As much as
I wanted to introduce one of those guys to my friend, they were to expensive.
I would rather spend that money on a new toaster.  So I came to a tank that
contained "Aggresive Fishes", and they were reasonably priced!  I bought one.
The guy who had the responsibility of removing my new friend from his
tank had a tough time getting him out.  I laughed.  I also laughed because
he wore a wool sweater, and it was 90 degrees.  He finally bagged my new
friend.  He escorted me to the counter, and requested $3.14 for my friend.
I gave him $3.25, and I got my change and walked out the door.  Yes, I have
a new friend.  So I took him and put him on the front seat and drove him
        While he was still in his bag, I poked a little hole in it and
put it in my fish tank, so he could adjust to the ph (this is good practice
for healthy friend maintenance).
        My old friend if afraid of him, because he is a fellow-friend eater.
He will eat my old friend in time, and it will be fun to watch.  Hehe.
I will upload the GIF's of that monumental event.


I plan on bringing my new friend up to be as rad as me.  In a couple of months
I will teach him the basics of warez-0-radum and kewlness.  Hopefully, he
will even be able to get an account on Critical Condition.  Timebomb
will have trouble voice-validating him though.  But once my new friend is
on Critical Condition, you can bet he will courier the latest -0 day ANSI's
and all the -89 day warez.  He will be cool.  No, make that k-k00l.

Those Great WareZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ozone pilot


          A day in the life of a TGW wannabe courier.  June 12, 2012

        Larry Hickman sat mesmorized in front of his computer.  He had just
downloaded the most recent TGW application.  He wanted to courier so badly,
but he was afraid he wasnt elite enough.  Wallowing in his self-worthlessness,
Larry got up, grabbed his coat, and headed downtown on foot, to gather his
thoughts and get a 19 Hole Fatty down at Grease Heaven.
        When he got to the joint, he bumped into his old friend Bruce
Shepherd.  Bruce looked different now, he had an certain gleem to him that
only the TGW couriers had.  He certainly wasnt the same old Bruce that he
had known before Bruce joined TGW.  He was elite.  Larry put his head down
and shuffled past.  Bruce didnt notice him.  Larry swung open the door and
was hit in the face with a warm blast of air.  He slumped against the
counter and ordered up a 19 Hole Fatty, extra lard.  The voices of the kids
in the elite-section of the restaurant wisped through the air.  Larry heard
talk about the latest 0 day ANSI's and TGW's new releases.  The kid behind
the counter asked if he would like to sit in elite or non-elite.  Glancing
over to the non elite section, Larry noticed the sad looking souls, the
ones who never made it into TGW.  "I'll have that to go" Larry muttered.
With food in tow, Larry trudged back to the house.  In the distance, he
heard a low growling noise, like an idling trailer truck.  He kept walking.
        Kicking open the unlocked door, Larry walked into the living room
and sat down in front of his computer.  The TGW application was still on
the screen.   Larry considered filling it out anyway.  What the hell.  With
the 19 Hole in one hand, and his other hand on the keyboard, Larry started
to type.  A maniacle smile appeared on his face.  TGW was his destination.
TGW was his fate.
        His typing went faster, he threw the burger down onto the floor and
started typing with both hands.  He went faster and faster, and his fingers
strained with the typing speed.  He started to breath faster, and faster.
Suddenly, he couldnt stand it anymore.  He pounded his fist through the
keyboard and straight through the wood desk.  With his other hand, he
drove a fist straight through his new Multi-Sync monitor.  He yanked his
hand out of the plastic case and watched gleefully as the blood pored down
his arm.  He looked up at his poster of the Immortal Warez God and shouted
"I shall become one with TGW!".  He ripped his shirt off, grabbed modem, and
smashed it with all his might against his skull.  He kept bashing it until
the modem crumbled to peices.  He put a hand on his shattered skull and with
drew it, satisfied at the stream of blood and tissue running out.  He then
stripped down totally naked, and then ran through the kitchen and dived
right through the glass storm door.  Flying shards of glass tore through
every part of his body.  He got up off the porch and ran into the street.
There, he heard the noise again.  The rumbling was getting closer, and closer
still.  Then, in the distance, he saw it.
        Heading towards him was the TGW Lamer/Fed Steamr0ller 0f DeAtH,
piloted by Timebomb himself, with Bartman riding shotgun.  This was no
ordinary steam roller, this was a turbo charged Critical Condition
3000 model XT.  It was roaring towards Larry's naked body at 88 miles per
hour (same speed necessary for the Back to the Future time machine to leap).
Larry looked down at the pool of blood forming at his feet.  He spit out
a few teeth and looked back up.  The LaMeR MaMeR was getting closer, and
Larry could see the whites of Timebombs eyes.  Thoughts of 2 Gigs of online
storage shot through Larry's mind.  Larry stood still, and the LaMeR MaMeR
drew closer.  Finally, Larry  looked skywards and screamed "I will never
be a TGW courier!  I am a 'lamer', I sacrafice myself to the immortal
warez god himself, Timebomb!"  The LaMeR MaMeR slammed into Larry at full
speed.  Larry's frail bloody body exploded violently into a glob of flying
blood and tissue.  His head ran right under the forward roller and was
instantly flattened paper thin, exploding brain tissue everywhere.
        As fast as the LaMeR MaMeR had come, it was gone.  It rumbled into
distance, and Larry's body layed smeared all over the street.  A dog barked.
And it was over.

TGW will get you.  Fear the lamer witch hunt.  Worship the WaReZ.  Courier
the ANSI's.  And maybe Timebomb will let you live...

ozone pilot


                                The 0 Day Girl

        There was an explosion of noise that nearly rocked the house.
Timebomb was woken from his sleep and smashed the alarm clock against the
floor.  He opened his eyes and glanced out the window at the blues sky and
warm sunlight of this August morning.  As much as he wanted to sucumb to the
temptation of more sleep, he knew he had to rise.   There were ANSI's to
download, more warez to courier, more credit card numbers to abuse, more
k0de linez to call.  It was a tough life, but he had to live it.  His was
the life of -=TGW=- President.
        He turned his head to the right and then realized he was not alone.
He had almost forgotten about her.  How could he?  Last night was great with
her, she really knew how to please.  She knew just how to hit his warez site,
and she really raised his PCR.  She was the 0 day girl.
        Timebomb had first seen the 0 day girl on that LD board he calls so
much.  As he read the FILE_ID.DIZ, he knew she was special, he knew that
this was the ware he had been looking for all his life.  He knew he had to
download her.  She was 1.2 megs, a little pudgy, she had a gorgeous set of
.exe files, and her crack was amazing.  He began the transfer, knowing that
this was the ware he would marry.  When the transfer was done, he hung right
up, not bothering to courier his latest warez.  He unzipped her into a
directory, and their eyes met.  It was love at first distro site.  It was
meant to be perfect in an imperfect warez world.  They were a match.
        From that day on, Timebomb and the 0 day girl went everywhere.  When
he couldnt gaze into her .doc's, he took her on disk wherever he went.  He
ate with her, he took her every place he had to go.  Thank god for 3.5"
disks, he just would never had been able to accomplish this with 5.25"
floppies.  8" floppies would have been a nightmare, but it didnt matter. He
would have still taken her.
        He kept a GIF of her in his wallet, so he could show it to his
friends.  On August 2, 1993, they married.  She was the perfect wife, a
devouted spouse.  She did everything for Timebomb.  When Bartman came over
for a few k00l-aids, she had FTP-Burgers made up for all of them.  She made
a mean K0de-line cake.  At night, when it was dark, she gave herself to
Timebomb, letting him fondle her soft .com's and lick her patch.  It was
heaven for Timebomb, this was the ware of his dreams.  Timebomb kept up
his dutiful commitment to the warez world, uploading and downloading every
imaginable peice of useless software to file away on the hard drive, never
even to be unzipped or used.  Then, one day, his world perfect world came
down like a crashing gig Seagate.
        Timebomb woke one morning and noticed immediately that she was not
there.  The sheets had been pulled back, and she was no where.  He figured
she was in the kitchen, making a batch of fairlight for breakfast.  He got
up and shuffled towards the kitchen.  As he got closer, he heard a pounding
noise, like a hammer against plastic.  It got louder as he got nearer to the
kitchen.  He burst throught the kitchen door, but she wasnt there!  The
smashing was now louder.  "Zero Day Warez Girl?  Where are you?@?  Are you
ok?!?" he shouted in panic.  The noise was coming from underneath him, a
steady throbbing.  He rushed over to the basement door and ripped it off it's
hinges.  The noise came rushing up the stairs and almost knocked him over.
He dashed down the stairs and stared in horror as the 0 day warez girl
swung a sledgehammer into his shiny NEC monitor.  The monitor exploded at
the mercy of the heavy tool.  She threw the sledgehammer toward Timebomb, but
he ducked it.  She grabbed a Skilsaw off the shelf and revved it up, glancing
over her shoulder with an evil grin while she slowly sliced Timebombs new
4 gig tapedrive in half.  Timebomb stood speechless, paralyzed with shock
and helpless.  She then threw the saw at him, and he ducked again.
        Next, she drove her fist through the case of Timebombs 586/125 and
and tore the 2.7 gig Western Digital IDE right off the bolts holding it to
the case.  Holding it in her hand, she shoved the drive into her mouth
and swallowed it whole.  Then, the final blow to Timebomb came.  She reached
for the modem.  Finally, words peirced Timebomb's quivering lips - "Noooooo!"
It was a shreik like a wounded wolf, the cry of a broken man.  Timebomb
started to shiver violently and shake at an astonishing rate.  She held
the modem in her hands, wearing a happy smirk.  She opened the washing
machine and filled it with hot water and Clorox.  Time stood still as she
held the modem over the open mouth of the Kenmore on "cotton".  Timebomb
began drooling and twitching, his legs could hardly support him anymore.
Time sped up to a slow pace as the modem gracefully toppled off her palm
and glided into the washer, with a wet slap.  She chuckled, and closed
the lid.
        What happened next is impossibly to write about in a comprehensive
manner, but basically Timebomb melted and slid down the basement drain.
He has never been heard from again.


The Zero Day Warez Girl was a Trojan.  Dont pitty Timebomb, this was a risk
he took dating in the warez world.  While chiding a certain character named
"Bunky" on a local bulletin board about his need for a "fuck", Timebomb
was sleeping with the warez enemy.  Dont feel bad for him.  There are a
million others.  Is'nt that what multi-nodes are for?

ozone pilot


                             The Lame List

(Ed: If you don't understand this, watch Comedy Central a little more.
If you do not have a TV, read this article aloud.  Its best read with
7 friends.  One being the announcer and the 6 others screaming LAME
when its their turn.)

    And now "Almost Live" <tm> presents the LAME LIST or whats weak
this week!  Today we will be talking to the 0 day couriers who
distribute for the United State's most elite warez groups.  Shall we

Announcer: Warez Boards with less than three nodes!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
           That wallows in lameness!

Announcer: Warez Boards that let more than three local callers on!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
           How would we run up mommy's phone bill?!

Announcer: Warez Boards that do not have USR v.fast and allow low
speed 9600 callers to access the system!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!

Announcer: The SPA!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
           That is LAMER than LAME!

Announcer: Boards that are not AE and have message bases!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME
           Message bases suck!

Announcer: Files on bulletin boards that are offline!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!

Announcer: Buying software!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!

Announcer: Boards that do not have at least 10 distribution sites in
every area code!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!

Announcer: Boards with 1 day Warez!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
           Those are OLD man!

Announcer: When they don't tell you you have to use '-d'!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!

Announcer: Getting girlie-action!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
           When would we have time to courier!?

Announcer: PCRs!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
           I never got the hang of the communication thing!

Announcer: Boards with less than 3 gigs of storage space!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
           Where would we put the 345 Meg VGA Version of King's Quest IVXX?

Announcer: Warez without FILE_ID.DIZ!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
           How lame can you get?

Announcer: Using your brain!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
           duh, thats lame!

Announcer: 800 Dollar Phone Bills!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!

Announcer: Eastern European nations shifting to a free market economy!

Couriers : huh? wha?  What did he say?!  Who cares, lets download.

Announcer: Going outside!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!

Announcer: Any transfer below 2000 cps!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
           Jesus we're getting deeper and deeper into the lame pit!

Announcer: Actually unzipping and using the Warez you courier!

Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME! LAME!
           That is the lamest one of all!

    There you have it!  Tune in next week for the lame list, when we will
be talking to TGW distribution site sysops!

jason farnon


                    A Day in the life of John Q. Warez

        Our story begins one sunny day in the quaint town of Ornestable.
The citizens of this town are all law abiding, fun loving people, who never
in their wildest dreams would do anything to harm any large software
companies or small time software programmers.  All except one...

                              John Q. Warez

        John Q. Warez who I will refer to from now on as John Q., has a
problem.  He recently purchased a new USR 16.8 Dual Standard fully warez-bbs
compatible modem.  How proud his fellow bbs'ers would be.  He installed and
fired up his new communications program "Warez-c0mm 2.01B".  He dialed
up his favorite board, Warez Mania Multinode, and newscanned the file areas.
He looked over the new -78 day warez and drooled at the prospect of
downloading at 1900 CPS.  One particular program caught his eye - Win/2,
a new operating system just released by Bill Gates' new company, Total
World Domination Software, Inc.  This new ware had a built in GIF viewer,
an improved WinMine, and could make a toaster cook a pop tart in 30 seconds
with it's SCSI multitasking interface.  John Q. needed this.  He set up
the batch to download the 45 disks, while he viewed the latest Tracy Lords
GIF's with his spiffy copy of Desqview.  When the 5 hour download was done,
John set about setting up Win/2.  He was really amazed at his new software,
it was all he ever needed.
        After he was done installing, he was looking throughout the directory
at the FILE_ID.DIZ.  He decided, for no particular reason, to read the file.
What he saw was interesting.  The file had been recently released by a
certain group called TGW, or Those Great Warez.  This particular cracking
and couriering group was lead by the infamous Timebomb of 617, a
individual who John had read about in a recent Boardwatch magazine.  It
seems that this child was busted by the fedz after an unfortunate incident
involving a credit card scam, the FBI, the SPA, NSA, USSS, KKK, MI5, Dominos
Pizza, a disgruntled airport shoe-shiner, and the CIA.  Timebomb was the
sysop of a pathetic warez board called Critical Condition.  This board had
been busted, and John, being the idiot that he was, left his real information
on the board.  John got nervous...
        John finally went to sleep after hours of staring at the ceiling,
thinking of warez, and Alcatraz.  At around 8:30 that morning, John was
waken by a crashing sound.  John peered out his window and spied 13 unmarked
plain white vans, along with a marked police car, and a trash truck.  The
trash truck worried John most, this was Thursday and the trash collection
day was Monday.  Dazed and confused, John rushed downstairs in his pajamas
and grabbed his trash.  He burst out the door flanked by two bags full
of rotten tomatos and banana peels.   He was tackled by two men wearing
suits, sunglasses, and totting Uzis.  He was gagged and blindfolded and
thrown into a van that immediately sped away...

        The last we heard of John, he was sharing a cell with Bubba the
tri-sexual axe murderer with a fettish for carbon paper.

Take this friendly lesson to heart.  You may learn something.

Alexander Knox
Ozone Pilot


                        The Story of The Pipeline

        Once upon a time, there was a pirate who had allll the latest
zEr0-day warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz.  We'll call him JH.  As with all
warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz d00dzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz, he had a favorite
warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz board.  We'll call it Th3 Jail C3ll.  He owned every
ware on the board, and uploaded so many that there was a file area there
called, "JH's Latest Z3r0-day WarezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz."
        Well, 16.8k baud was not fast enough for JH and his sys0p - we'll
call him T-Bird.  Being 100% k-rad k-k00l k-fr3sh, they devised an 3!33+
plan.  They would build a pipeline between their two warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz
stati0nzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz (486DX2's for you and me).  When this task was done,
they would be the first warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz d00dzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz ever to
transfer z3r0-day warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz ever!
        There was one major problem:  JH lived in Brookline, and T-Bird lived
in Malden!  They decided they would work at night from their houses, and meet
in the middle.
        Two y3arzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz later, it was 5 am and they could see each
digging 10 3!33+ f33t away!  They decided they would risk working in the
        As the Sun came up over Somerville, it shined off of a ComGas pipe!
As JH swung his pickaxe for the last time, he struck the pipe and ruptured
        The ComGas truck drove up to investigate, and found two
warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz d00dzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz wheezing for breath.  As the
f3dzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz slapped on the cufzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz, they slipped into
comas, never to pirate again.

Moral of the the story:  WarezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz g3t buzt3d by



                  "An Objective Critique Of A Timebomb Post"

Check it out!  Another asinine post from Timebomb, this one extracted from
a particularly hopeless warez board, Tower Of Power III.  I add my comments
in brackets.  I found this message very stereotypical of waredom in general.
Thanks to Timebomb for providing me this golden opportunity to tear him apart.
Here goes...


122 of 128
PISS YOU OFF!  <---- [ Does this really piss me off?  Hmm.  Makes you think ]
8/4/93 at 1:06 pm
Timebomb (999) <---- [ Another board he has sysop access on ]

Alright, Everyone Read...And Ozone, BTW - you dont think it pays off? I will be
gatting a $100 check every month for this:

[ Note that financial refrences are introduces immediately.  Last time I
  checked, I didnt run a business.  This is the warez-greed effect.  In other
  words, Timebomb is using a hobby to earn him money.  These guys always
  crash and burn.  You go into business to make money, you go into a hobby
  to take your mind off it.  How greedy is this comment?  Very.  No REAL
  computer user offers himself for charge.  The computer hobby is based on
  sharing and honesty.  Such actions will earn Timebomb a bad rep fast. ]

To all TGW Affiliates, Distribution Sites, Members and Couriers:

[ Note the blanket announcment, it's effect is intended to make you think
  that TGW reaches beyond Timebomb's bedroom.  It doesnt. ]

       TGW is now going to merge with PWA (Pirates with attitudes). We

[ I've never heard of PWA before either, and I dont think I'm missing
  anything.  Note that bad-ass acronym. "Pirates With Attitudes".  Oooh,
  how scary.  Do they really have attitudes?  Maybe we should ask their
  8th grade teachers...]

       are in the process of putting our two groups together. This means
       that everything that TGW releases will be distributed by PWA and
       their couriers, and vice versa. Betewwn the 2 groups, there will be
       a very heavy flow of Warez. All TGW members, Couriers and boards will

[ Note the HEAVY FLOW of warez.  Get this boy a tampon for that thing... ]

       be PWA boards now, and each person can be a member if you so choose
       to be. If you are a courier or a Member, or even a member board it is
       free. If you are a Dist. Site and you can Supply TGW/PWA with Warez,
       the is no fee. But, if you can't supply TGW/PWA with anything and want
       to be a Site, the fee is $50/month US Dollars. This fee includes a
       courier to your board. If you want more info on the TGW/PWA merger, or
       are interested in dropping yourself from the Group, or want to become
       a member, please leave feedback to TIMEBOMB on this board. I must know
       who wants to go and stay soon. Adios <---- [ Timbomb really doesnt
know spanish]

               Timebomb [PWA/TGW]

[ Note the "affiliations".  This is a clear mark of the truly helpless.
  Theu dont serve a purpose, but he must have them. ]


[ Timebomb apparently dislikes the atmosphere.  Probably still uses CFC's
  in a heavy quantity.  I wonder what Greenpeace would think...]

■■■■■■ Timebomb -=TGW=- ■■■■■■

[ Heres another one of those things.  More snazzy, this one utilizes ANSI
  codes, for added warez effect. ]

Current (∞ Comments/Questions ∞)...
Φ Next  Reply  Again  Skip  Thread  Post  Jump  Mail  List  Quit Φ (NewScan) Next


Whew, that was good.  Now we have a better idea of the mind of a warez d00de.
We know whats going through that narrow mind.  This has been another AWA

Capture and Comments by Ozone Pilot
Thanks to Jason Farnon and Alex Knox


After learning of Timebomb's secret affiliations with PWA I had to find
out more about this elite group.  So using sekret elite methods involving
the KGB and K0DeZ I snatched this status sheet straight from PWA!  So here
it is.  Judge it for yourself:

              ▄█▄                          ▄▀▒▓▌
             ▐██▄▀▀▄              ▄      ▄▀ ░▒▓
             ██████▄▀▄          ▄▀▓▌   ▄▀   ░▓▌ ▄▄
            ▐███████▌▐▌       ▄▀ ▒▓    ▐▌  ░▒▓ ▐▌▐██▄▄        .
           ▄█████████▌█     ▄▀  ░▓▌     █ ░▒▓▌ █ █████▀▀▄▄   ■
            ▀▀█████████▌  ▄▀   ░▒▓      ▐▌░▒▓  ▐▌▐██▀  ▄  ▀▄▀
               ▀████████   █  ░▒▓▌      █░▒▓▌   ▀▄██▌   ▀▄
          ▌     ▐██████▌   ▐▌░▒▓▀  ▄▀  ▐░▒▓▀    ▄ ▀█▀     █▄
          ▐▌ ▐   ██████    █░▒▒▀ ▄▀ ▀ ▄▀▄▀     ▐▓░▄   ▄▄  ▐▀▄
────────── ▓▄▀▌ ▐█████▌───▐░▒▒ ▄▀   ▄█▀▀ ───── ▓▒░▐▌ ▀   ─ █▓█ ───-───-─· ·  ·
           ▐▓ ▀▄█████▀    █▄▀     ▄▀    ▀▄    ▐▓▒  █      ▐▌▒▓▌
            ▄▓▓████▀     ▐▀      ■            ▓▒░  ▐▌    ▄▀ ░▒▓
          ▄▓▓██▀▀ ▄▄    ▄▀      .            ▐▓▒░   ▀▄    ▀▄ ░▓▌
         ▐▓▓▀ ▄▓    ▀▀▄▄▄                    ▓▒░     ▄▀     ▀▄▒▓
         ▓▒▌  ▐▓▒        ▀▀▀▄               ▐▓▒░░  ▄▀         ▀
         ▐▓▄   █▓▒       ░▄▀                ▀▓▓▒▒░▀
          ▀▓▀  ▐▓▒░    ░▄▀                    ▀▓▀     ..R.Noble <LEGACY>
                █▓▒▒▒▀     ... Pirates With Attitudes
              ▄▓▓▀           Proudly Presents ...
│ ⌐_nEWUsERPassW0RD v1.0O _ _ _ _  __  _  _  ___   _aT 05-24-93 SS:0O_C3t_¬_│
│ PRoGRaMmINg,,, .,,, : 3l PENGA_&_tedDY_____│_tYpe, PcB0aRD_15.o Nup.pP3___│
│ paCKAGEr_..,,, .,,, :_TeddI___ _____ __   _│_audI0_.. :_n/a_ __    _    _ │
│ pR0tECti0N_.,,, .:_N/a_ _ ___ _   _  ___   │_RatyNG_.,,.:_[■■■■■■■■■■] _ _│
│ cRAckEr_.,,, .,,, ,,, ,,, :_n/a_ __  _    _│_#_OF Di2kS:_1/1  _  ____  ___│
  _    _   _  __   ___ _ _
n0TE2 :

 _ _ PrOGRAM: _NUPA2sWOrd.PPe v1.O0_-_COMPIl3d on_O5-S4-93
_d32crYpT1On:  PpE (PcBOard pr0gRaMMInG ExeCuTaBl3) thAt Y0u cAN Add
 _ __  __ _ _ _t0_The N3wu2eR DISplaI_phyL3,,,
insTAllATion: _Yn2tALlat10N IS_V3ri 2ympLe,_jU2t_uNZIP_ThEsE phYL32_TO
 _ _ _____  _  a diRECToRY OpH_y0ur cHoYcE._
 _ _____ __ __ RUN_an EDYt0r_0f Y0Ur_cHoYCE AND add tHe f0ll0wInG LIN3
  _   _ _  _   T0 Y0UR N3wU2Er W3lc0mE pHYl3 :
_ _    _ _   __
 __ __ __   _  !#62&%$<ppEpaTH>\nUP,,, pPe (3xAmPL3 0PH neWU23R_fYlE yncluD3D)
    _ _     ___
  _ ___ _ _  __rUn_PCbseTup aND eDIt th3 pAtH 0ph_tH3 n3wu2eR_PHIle_Yn
_ _____  __ _ _PHILe LOCATionS - d1SpLay_fyLE2 - nAME/Loc_0Ph_NEWus3r Phile
_ __ _____ __
 ____  __ _ ___ThAt's alL_!"13"!)!!

 _  __ ___  _   _ __ __  __ __ _   __ _  __  _  __  ____sYgNeD_: T3ddi
     _ ___   _____ _  ___    _  _ ___ __  _____ _ __ _
__  ___   ___ ______   _ _-/-_TH1S 1S_p,,, W.A,,,  -\-
_┐──────────────────┐────────────────────────────────────────-- -__
_│ OrGAnIz3rs .,,, .│_BAr_ManaGeR,_0RIOn, TeDdI
 │ 23nI0r 2TapHPH_, │_DUMP3r, krAm, MA2TEr di2A2t3r
 └──────────────────┐──────────────────────-_-──- --  -_ ·  ·· __ ·
_│ prOGrAmmING_ ,,, │_El p3ngA,_2TRId3R
 └──────────────────┐─────────────────--- -_  -_ · ·_··__ ·
_│ dOcuMENtatI0n,,, │_dYrti FrAnk,_The_aNniHilAt0r, pHyRE_sTarTeR
_│__ _ _____      __│_Th3 Pun12Her,_ScR3ech
_└──────────────────┐─────────────────--- - __-__· · ··_ _·
_│ MemB3r2_,.,,   , │_anoNImOus,_BEACH_BUM,_Big al,_byg_3DDie, c3Ti2,_cHArLI3
 │_   __ _  _ _ _   │_DE2Tr0i3R,_faYTh_hEaLeR, Fbi,_fEL0nIous_M0nK
 │_ __ _  ___  _    │_jUmpyN' jaCk flaSH, M3SsiaH, mYND B0mB,_mIST3r TWiST3r
 │__  ____    _     │ RicOCH3t, SyliC0n WArri0r, TJ,_ViNDiCat10N, X3n0Phob3
 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─════─═───-──-─--  ·· ·  ·

│    _   _   __ · _·_··<> cOUry3R C0OrdInAtors <>··_·__·_ ___    _ __ ___ _│
│___ _     _____  ___ __ _    _  _2TrYPH3__ ____ __ __   _ _  _ ____  __ _
│_  __  __ ___ __  ·  ·_··<> SENI0R COuRYer2 <>··_·  · _  __ _ ___ _    ___│
│       _  ____ _ deaTHkNIgHT, Th3 S0rCer3R2 SON,_WIngNut___ _  ___     _  │
│ ___     ___ _  _  ·__·· ·<>_C0Ury3r TEaM_<>· ·· _· __ ____ _ ___ _ _ _   │
│__      ______BIT3MAn,_B3nJy, cH0WdeRi, C0nmAsT3r,_tHE DaRk MAg3,   __ ___│
│_ _dEaTH2Tr0kE,_DelyV3R, YNs3Ct0r-x,_LOrD CYRYX, tHE paYnT3R,_SATMaN,     │
│__   _  _  ___ __ 2YlVer SURF3R,_SpIC3MaN, VanilLa_Yc3  _____    _ _ ___  │

_ _    ____ _    _ _
__ _ __     ·__·_···<>_PYraTe2 wITh_AtTYTUD32 sYte lI2t <>··· · _·

⌠ ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
│_buLL3TIN_b0ARD NaM3······│ StAtus······N0D32_│_ac·_│_2YsOp ·············· │
│ TH3 rISYNg_sUN_·········_│_WoRLd HQ_·····[2] │ XxX_│_0RION_·············· │
│_dygiTal_UNdErgrOunD_···· │ eUr0PeAn_hq_··[6] │ +Xx │ TEddy ··············_│
│ cAD3Nc3 ················_│ CoNSole Hq_···[8] │ +XX_│_yCEMaN_·············_│
│ UnDeRgr0UNd_OA2I2_······ │ uS ea2t_HQ ···[e]_│ xxx_│_mr,,, _Tw1ST3R ·····_│
│_wHyplASH_··············· │ uS_wE2T_hQ ···[s] │_xxx_│ KRAm_···············_│
│_bAnN3d in tHE u2A ······_│ meMbeR_boaRD ·[1]_│_510 │_ryC0CH3t ··········· │
│ BR3wery ················_│_M3MB3R b0ARD ·[1]_│_+44_│_2p3Lljamm3R_········ │
│_duMPEr'S d3N_··········· │_m3Mb3r BoArD ·[1]_│_31E_│ dUmp3R_·············_│
│_ilL3gAL JU2TYc3_········_│ MEmB3r B0ArD ·[1]_│_+e2_│ jUMpiN' JAcK Fla2h_·_│
│_mAs2_hi2T3rIa_·········· │ m3Mber boaRD ·[1] │_+3S │_Me22iAh ············ │
│ P2ich0n3t_·············· │_MEMB3r_b0ARD_·[s]_│ 616_│ 23RVIcE_············_│
│_pYrATe_miND sTatIon ···· │_m3mB3R b0Ard ·[2] │ E14_│_F3loNioUs_MoNk ····· │
│_PrIMal sCR3aM_·········· │ MEmbeR_b0ARd_·[1] │ 71E │ buDMaN ·············_│
│ SpiRit'2_hOMe_··········_│ MEmb3r B0ard ·[9] │_+49 │ Fb1 ················_│
│_CYClOps_················ │ DI2triBut10N ·[E]_│ S01_│_0l3_0NE 3Ie ········ │
│ CigNuS-x_···············_│_D1sTRIbUT1On_·[1]_│ 3O5 │_2pik3 ·············· │
│_gaRd3n 0F_d3lyGhT_······_│_d12tRyBut1on ·[1] │ +4E │ p33PIng_TOm ········ │
│_GraS2h0pP3R's PHyELD ···_│ dI2TRiButIoN_·[1]_│_+32_│_GRAS2H0pP3r········ _│
│ h3lLB0uND_·············· │ DI2TrYBUTI0N_·[2]_│_S05_│ mel3K tAU2_·········_│
│ holL0W_tRE3_PR0ducT1On_·_│_D1stRiBUTi0n_·[1] │ 31E_│_fAnTA2M_···········  │
│ n0_resT_PHoR_thE_WiCKED· │_D12tRibuT1On ·[1] │_313_│ MR. cROWLei_········ │
│ tH3 beacH ·············· │ d12TRiBuT1On_·[1] │_407 │_B3ach bum_··········_│
│ the wOoDen bOXCaR ······_│_d12TRiBuT10n_·[1]_│_606 │ paCKrat ············_│


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   _ _ __  _  _ _    __ _ _  __ _  _ _  _   :_ PHRaNC3 av3nu3_soUTh
   __  _ _  ___   _____  _ _  _ _ ___   _ _ :_ Bl0OmyNGT0n,_mn 554E1

 ____ _   __ 1f_You_ar3 GOYng_T0 do it..,,, . D0 yt WITH_An ATTiTud3!)50$%#

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A gAM3, CONSyder_bUiING_yT!$17!$16!(16)&$$!&39$#")(_20M30nE's g0t_TO_MAke
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Th3y d3s3RVE_It.__ _    _ _

end of transmission.