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7 of 24 files path0s

1996 September 1

  • Text / Magazine
  • Ionizer, Path0s, writer credits
[+] Configuration Copy text
.x#$$#x. `:$$$$:' The Game Review! .x%#$$$$$$#%x. .x#$$$$#x. .x#$$$#x. `""""$$$$""""' .S$$$$$$$$S.$$$$$$$$$Ss $$$$.sS$Ss.$$$$ $$$$$`$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$',$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ """"`$$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ sS$Ss."$$$ $$$$$$ pn `-------------- $$$$$$$$$$$ ------------' $$$$$$$$'` ~VOTED #1 WAREZ MAG/REVIEW BY INTERNET USERS~ ~TGR IS PROUD TO BE THE LONGEST RUNNING WEEKLY WAREZ MAG/REVIEW, EVER!~ .a$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$a. $$' . `$$' `$$ ' `$$' s `$$' s `$$ $' $ $$ $ $$ a a $$ $ $$ $ $$ ISSUE #37 $ $ssss$$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ssss$$ $ o o$ $$ $ $ $$ sssss$$ssss. $$ 09/01/96 $. $ $$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ $$ $$. $ ,$$ $ $$ $ $ $$. $ ,$$. $ ,$$ `$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$$&@%o%@&hd' "All the games that are fit to print." Un-Releastic: "I have never played a game I didn't like." -Stu Pid Fewl Realistic : "This game sucks!" -Ionizer ____________ News Updates ============ -If you have been wondering where TGR #37 is for a while now, you obviously didn't read the news section of #36. -****Anyway, I'm back, and as promised, here is the parody song:***** *----------------* *GAMER'S PARADISE* *----------------* -Sung, of course, to Coolio's "Gangsta Paradise", but sounds better if you have ever heard of Weird Al Yankovic's "Amish Paradise", so go find a copy of the music and play it in the background and sing along. -Written entirely by Ionizer [THE GAME REVIEWer]. As I surf through ftp sites, where I store my warez, I take a look at my hard drive and realize there's no space left! But that's just typical for a game fanatic like me, You know, having nothing to download is not my cup of tea. At 4:30 in the morning, you're waiting for a game, half the time it'll end up just being real lame...fool. Cuz I've been downloading and couriering so long, that, Even top uploader lists tell me that my mind is gone. I'm a man of games, I'm into playing them, If they dont have good graphics and sound then fuck 'em. But if you give me some games, and I'll give you some too, then tonight I'll be up late, playing against j00. [CHORUS] We've been spending most our lives living in a Gamer's Paradise. We've all leeched and unzipped twice, in a Gamer's Paradise. Sometimes it's hard work and no life when you're in a Gamer's Paradise. But we make due with little sacrifice, living in a Gamer's Paradise. [CHORUS] A local lamer asked for a ware last week, I just smiled at him, and said go to #m8leech. I really don't care, in fact I wish him good luck, 'Cuz I'll be laughing my head off when he realizes the game sucks! But I ain't never ignored a lamer even if he deserved it, A Game Reviewer with an attitude, you know that's unheard of. He should have read T-G-R and he'd know what's cool, but the dumbass downloads things without a clue...fool. If you don't read it, you're really missing out, So when you leech and the game don't work, Please dont go shout and pout. There's no reason to not read it, It's really simple you dumb shit, It's like typing a .txt, As simple as that, ack hold I gotta pee... [CHORUS] We've been spending most our lives living in a Gamer's Paradise. We're just people with 28.8 lines, living in a Gamer's Paradise. There's no time for leeching non-working virii, when you're in a Gamer's Paradise. So read The Game Review every night, and everything will be alright. [CHORUS] Unzipping a 1.4 meg zip, unarjing a 1.4 meg arj, Pirating a game, soon I'll pirate 'a nudder. Think you're really leet? Think you're tha' shit? Well I know I'm a million times leeter than you, and your mom's mosquito bite tits. I'm the elite guy the little newbies wanna be like, reviewing games non-stop, scoring points for games, like Afterlife. So don't be dumb, and don't get whiny, or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your `hiny'. [CHORUS] We've been spending most our lives living in a Gamer's Paradise. We're all crazy courier-ites, living in a Gamer's Paradise. There's no ircops or a bandwith limit, in a Gamer's Paradise. You'd probably think it's 'tha shit, living in a Gamer's Paradise. AhhhhhhAhhhhhhhh...Ahh, AHh, AHH...AhhhhhhAhhhhhh..... [CHORUS] ============================================ HOW TO GET THIS MAGAZINE ON A REGULAR BASIS: -------------------------------------------- (WHERE and WHEN can I GET The Game Review? The Game Review (c) Ionizer, will) (be released every SUNDAY, and can be obtained by /m ionizer xdcc send #1) #1 TGR Web Page: http://ns2.clever.net/~ionizer (Note: Contains all issues and is always up to date.) #2 E-Mail AUTO Responder: Just write mail to [email protected] <that's all, you don't need to include any special message or anything, you'll get a response back within a few seconds>. (Note: Only for the NEWEST TGR out.) #3 Other magazines are free to use TGR in their magz. Simply notify me about it first. Currently RCN contains TGR! NOTE: THERE IS NO MAILING LIST OF ANY KIND! =========================================== - * - * - * - * - * * - * - * - * - * - GAME REVIEWS, RATINGS, UN-BIASED OPINIONS, HELP/TIPS FOR INSTALLING GAMES! [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] -Rating scale: (0-19)/100 = In a nutshell, it sucked! (20-39)/100 = Still crap but slightly better. (40-49)/100 = Possibly worth downloading. (50-69)/100 = Pretty decent game. Might want to check it out. (70-79)/100 = Worth the download if you like that type. (80-89)/100 = Very good, 9 outta 10 its worth the download. (90-99)/100 = Excellent game, a MUST download. 100/100 = HOLY SHIT I'VE NEVER SEEN A BETTER GAME! RATINGS are based on the game idea, graphics, sound, playability, ingenuity, versatility, and a lot of other words ending in `ity'. These games are based on what happens on MY COMPUTER ONLY, unless stated otherwise. I always first follow nfo directions, and if those don't work or are not available, I then try other ways. So just b/c it doesn't work for me, doesn't mean it won't work for you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -<*><*> THE GAME REVIEW <*><*>- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- SINCE SOME OF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO READ THE NEWS SECTION, IM FORCED TO WRITE THIS HERE. IF YOU READ THE NEWS SECTIONS, YOU WOUDLN'T HAVE TO ASK ME THINGS LIKE "WHY ISN'T #37 OUT YET?" AND STUFF LIKE THAT. READ THE NEWS SECTION, IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S 40 PAGES LONG, AND IT'S FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT! ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ & ____________________/»|__/| ______ █ ▄▄ █ CARRIBEAN STUD POKER MIN.[04/04] & \__ \ _ / __/ __/ / |/____\ █ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ & | __/ _ _/ _| \_ \ \/ / ) / █ ███ ▀███▀██▄ ▄███▀█▄ ▀ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▄▄▄▄▄ █ & |__|\__\ \______ /___\__\_ \__ █ ███ ███▄██▀ ████ ███ ███▄▄ ▐██ █ & +-------___/≈e≈/aL!\/-------/____/ █ ███ ███ ▀██▄ ████ ███ ▄▄▄ ███ ██▌ █ & CARRIBEAN STUD POKER: █ ███ ███ ███ ████■███ ███▄██▀ ▐██ █ & KNOWLEDGE PRO [XX/18] ▀▄ ▀█▄■███ ███ ▀██▄███▄ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█ & ▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▀▀▀ ▄▄▄▄▄ ▀▀▀ █ 96-08-24 & ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ & -Filenames: IRQ-SP??.ZIP -Filenames: PSGCSP??.ZIP I guess in the Carribean they are either so liquored up, or so fucked up from hurricanes that they can't even play poker the normal way. So they have this Carribean poker, which just seems to be poker, but you don't get to pick up cards. Anyway, I don't like it, and you won't either. It's your typical win- dows card game, minimized nicely by IRQ57 so you don't need all that added crap to find out this game sucks in the first place. If for some reason you or maybe your g-parents have a fetish for "CARRIBEAN" Stud Poker then get it. RATING: 34/100 CLIF DANGER (c) NEW GENERATION SOFT [9/9] _____ _____ ____ _____ ________________ \_ | \ \/ / _ /__\_ \_/ _ \ | _ \_ \ _/ \ \ __/___/ | / / |___| |____|___/ /_\ \___|_______/ ::d|___|::::::.\___/.:.\___\:::::::::: -Filenames: HBD-CL??.ZIP I was taught "If at first you don't succeed try again.", so that's what I did after this game crashed the first time, right after the it showed the vga pic of the company that made it. Then it crashed again, and I was taught, "If at the second time you don't succeed, try harder!". So I did, I figured maybe I had to have my cd loaded cuz it gave me the typical error shit for when you need mscdex loaded. But it still did the same thing, and I was taught, "If by the third time you still fail, then go write a review and tell everyone the shit don't fucking work!" So, I'm here to tell you that this shit didn't fucking work for me, and probably won't work for you either, unless there was some kind of fight that went on with my computer and the game before I unarjed it, that I don't know about. The game is supposed to be a run'n'jump game if you care to try for yourself. I'm told a fix will be released soon, and that if you manage to get it to the intro, hit esc and it just might work. RATING: NA/100 Olympic Soccer (c) US GOLD [1/16] _____ _____ ____ _____ ________________ \_ | \ \/ / _ /__\_ \_/ _ \ | _ \_ \ _/ \ \ __/___/ | / / |___| |____|___/ /_\ \___|_______/ ::d|___|::::::.\___/.:.\___\:::::::::: -Filenames: HBD-OL??.ZIP Oh yeah! More soccer and from Hybrid too! All these soccer games are just beginning to become a big blur and start to all appear the same. This one will be a little slow on anything less than a 486/100. It's the usual soccer game, with tons of different controls for types of passes. The announcer is there <with an English accent of course> and the crowd noise, and all the usuals. The menus are very similar to the ones in Olympic Games US GOLD. If you like soccer and just can't get enough of it, then go ahead and get it. But I'm telling you, one can only have SO MANY soccer games before you just get tired of them all together. RATING: 56/100 ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ █ ▄▄▄ █ Olympic Soccer RIP & HDFIX [07/07] █ ▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ █ ████ ▀████▀███▄ ▄███▀██▄ ▀ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▄▄▄▄▄ █ █ ████ ████▄███▀ ████ ████ ███▄▄ ▐██ █ █ ████ ████ ▀███▄ ████ ████ ▄▄▄ ███ ██▌ █ █ ████ ████ ████ ████■████ ███▄██▀ ▐██ █ ▀▄ ▀▀█▄■████ ████ ▀██▄████▄ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█ ▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▀▀▀▀ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▀▀▀ █ 96-08-27 ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ -Filenames: IRQ-OS??.ZIP This is just a smaller rip of the game, plus you can install it to any drive, not just C:, but still you need to put it in a dir called SDSOCCER. Read the above review for what the game is like. This rip is missing the voice commen- tary heard during the game. RATING: 51/100 ▄▀ ▄ ▄▄█▀▀██▄ █▄ ▄ ▄█▌ ▀█▄ ██▓▌ ██▐▓▓█▄ ▐█▄ ▐▓█ ░░ █▌ ░░▐██ ░ ▐▓▌██▌▀█▄ █▀█▌jaguar ▐██▌ ▄█▀ ▄▄▄ ██ ▄█▀▐██ ▀█▀ ▐▓ ▄▄▄ █▓█ ▀█▄ ▄██▀▀▓▌▐█▌▄██▓▄▐▓▌ ██▐▓▀▀▓█ ▐█▌ ▐▓▓▄▐█▄ ▄█ █▓ ▀██▌█▌ ░ ░░ ▐▓▌█▄ ▄█▌ ██ ▄██▀ ▀███▓▀▀▐█▄ ▐█▓█▐ ██▀ ▀▀█▓▀▀ ▄▀ Water Wonder [01/08] ▀█ -Filenames: KRMAWW??.ZIP Well this game has originality that's for sure. It's a board game for windows and you start off as ice and you must make your way around the board as you are converted into water or steam by the many obstacles in your way. Fun for the kids maybe, but not for anyone else. Games like this should have one of those "Reccomended for ages 9 and below." The graphics aren't so hot, but there are lotsa diff noisy sound effects to go with the game. The game will get boring quick, and the game play is kind of slow, because first you have to click "player one" then it goes to your guy, then you have to spin, which takes about 5 seconds for it to do, then you finally move which could take like 10 seconds to finish doing, and all in all your turn ends up taking like 30 seconds by the time it's over. Get it for a little bro or sis, but don't get it for yourself. RATING: 53/100 ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▄▄▄▄ █ █ █ ▀ -------█ █ █ ▀▄----- ▌TTG▐ 96'▀█▀▀ [XX/o3] ---------------[o8/18/96]- PreSents : --* Time Slaughter *-- -Filenames: TTG_SL??.ZIP Ok this is only a demo and all, but it's still pretty funny and it's only 3 disks. It's your typical MK style fighting with cartoonish like drawings. However there's a nice intro storyline behind it all, and it's kinda funny. The game just has tons of blood and guts and stuff like that for all you freaks who like that shit. The intro shows some demonic character taking a screwdriver like tool and shoving it through some guys eye and shit. It's kinda nasty, but funny at the same time. The game play has blood just flying all over the place and some examples of the humor are this: You beat the guy and it says "Roses are red, violets are blue, now that your dead, im going to piss all over you." And he also says "What's that gray crap all over the floor? Oh yeah it's all the shit I beat out of you." And since it's a demo the guys even had a nice attitude about registering it, with some funny more funny shit. It shows a picture of some retard going "Pwwease wegistduh ya game so you can raise your IQ .001 percent and get a cool `TARD CARD'" Even if you don't like fighting games, just check this one out for a good laugh, and make sure you sit through the entire intro, then play the game and win against both guys and watch again. RATING: 42/100 <for the actual game> RATING: 59/100 <for the humor> STRIKE BASE (c) MAX DESIGN [33/33] _____ _____ ____ _____ ________________ \_ | \ \/ / _ /__\_ \_/ _ \ | _ \_ \ _/ \ \ __/___/ | / / |___| |____|___/ /_\ \___|_______/ ::d|___|::::::.\___/.:.\___\:::::::::: -Filenames: HBD-SB??.ZIP You will need mscdex to play this one <the nfo writer said he was unsure>. This is a typical fly around and shoot things up. The graphics are a little bit box'y and not impressive at all. It's not too exciting, as you sit there with in inside the ship perspective, shooting endlessly at objects that only look like red dots on the map, and by the time you can see them in full they have already shot you down. You use the mouse to control your movement and firing, but it's not too quick or slow, it's just right. Still nothing great and not worth the download. RATING: 48/100 Azrael`s Tear (c) Mindscape [xx/50] _____ _____ ____ _____ ________________ \_ | \ \/ / _ /__\_ \_/ _ \ | _ \_ \ _/ \ \ __/___/ | / / |___| |____|___/ /_\ \___|_______/ ::d|___|::::::.\___/.:.\___\:::::::::: -Filenames: HBD-AZ??.ZIP Finally, here is the final version of this game which had a 4 disk beta a while back, since the game is the same, here's the quote: "A crappy 3rd person small screen viewability game. It makes you appear as though your some high-tech robot who analyzes like every piece of crap you find. The viewing ability is like 1/4 of the size of you monitor. Average background sfx, nothing special. Unless you are uh....hmm...a....uhh..a dork, then you won't like this." The game won't excite you unless you love to spend hours figuring out what to do and getting stuff to use somewhere else, etc. Otherwise don't bother with 50 disks. RATING: 38/100 +----------( n e m e s i s )--▄▄▄-----+ ▄■ ▄██▀███ ███▀███▀█▓▄ ███▀█▓█ flair ■▀ ▀ █▓█ ███ █▓█ ███ ███ █▓█ ███ ■█▄ ▄▓▄ ███ █▓█ ███ █▓█ ███ ███▄▄▄▄ ▄▀█▓ ▀ ███ ███ ███ ███ ███ ▄▄▄ ███ ▀▓█▀ ■▄■▀ ▓██ ██▓ █▓█ ▀▀▀ ██▓ ▓██▄█▓█ ▄ +---------▀▀▀---------▀▀▀-▀▀▀---------+ Ultimate Software's Product Library **Registered** +-(o8/26/96)------------------(xx/o4)-+ -Filenames: NMSUSP??.ZIP A collection of gambling games for your pc. Nothing much to say, they all will bore you eventually since it's not real money your winning or losing, and more likely losing. Here are the games included: Cherry Delight Video Slots V4.1, Double Dynamite Video Slots v4.1, Noisy Video Poker, Noisy Video Blackjack v4.1, Lucky Stars Video Slots V4.1, Ultimate Language Tutor v4.3, Real Video Poker v4.1, Real Video Blackjack v4.1, Extreme Slots v1.2, and Jackpot Slots v1.2. Have fun, I know you won't. RATING: 41/100 ________________________/»|__/| ___________ & \___ \ __ / __/ __/ / |/ ____/ __/_ & THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION | __/ _/ _/ _| \__ \ \/ / ) / _| / & OF PAKIS PRESENTS: [xx/10] |___|\__\ \________ /___\__\__ \______\ & AGE OF RIFLES INTRO/ADDON +--------\___/≈e≈/aL!\/--------/_____\-----+ & AGE OF RIFLES (c) SSI [01/11] & +------------------------------------------+ & -Filenames: RIFLES??.ZIP -Filenames: AORINT??.ZIP The wargames just keep on rolling. I wonder who actually supports these games. I mean you can only buy so many of them. Your typical horse, people, and other type icons. You have a certain amount of moves and you take your little turn and fire your little weapons. You kill people, you die, you get bored quick. Unless you live and die for war games don't bother. It's got all the historical data and battles for you history freaks. The graphics are standard, sound fx nothing great, and no music. Tons of different buttons with tons of options. Nothing much else to say except don't forget to load mscdex and pop in any cd, which wasn't mentioned in the nfo and the `cracked' .exe didn't seem to fix. They later released a fix for this. The intro is a total waste of time and totally un-needed. RATING: 54/100 _____ __ ______ _____ __ _____ / \/ | |__| | / _ \ / _ _ | _ |__| | | | \_ _/ / | | | || | \ / - \ \__|_|__/\____/ |__|___|\___\_____/ ----------------------------------- Solitaire Antics [xx/o3] ----------------------------------- -Filenames: M8SOLA-?.ZIP This game was released to make me happy, at least that's what the motiv8.nfo says: "To make Ionizer very happy we hit the scene with this cardgame. Another of those solitaire cardgames, but anyway this one is both for DOS or WIN." Well that's what it is, solitaire for dos or windows, just in case you don't have 5,000 different brands of it already. If you own a computer and you don't know what Solitaire is then your name must be like Forest Gump or some- thing. RATING: 31/100 ________________________/»|__/| ___________ \___ \ __ / __/ __/ / |/ ____/ __/_ | __/ _/ _/ _| \__ \ \/ / ) / _| / |___|\__\ \________ /___\__\__ \______\ +--------\___/≈e≈/aL!\/--------/_____\-----+ HONG KONG MAHJONG FOR WINDOWS [xx/05] +------------------------------------------+ -Filenames: PSGHKM??.ZIP Oh joy, mahjong. How much more fun can we have in a day then a game of mah- jong. I don't know how to play this game, nor do I ever wish to know. It's for win/win95 and that just doesn't help. You'll need it in the specific graphics mode it asks for or it'll look fucked up. Anyway there's like lots of oriental ppl to choose from to pick as your opponents. It's actually quite funny to pick them and listen to them pretend to be cool and be like "Yo" or "Hey man waz' up"...dumb chinks. Oh shit, now that I've offended half the readers out there let me just tell you don't bother unless you like mahjong <and don't take things offensively>. For a good laugh, take a look at the HK*.BMP files and see the shmucks make all these dumb faces. RATING: 35/100 ======================= ________________________/»|__/| ___________ & Australian Rugby League \___ \ __ / __/ __/ / |/ ____/ __/_ & -Legion- [xx/43] | __/ _/ _/ _| \__ \ \/ / ) / _| / & ======================= |___|\__\ \________ /___\__\__ \______\ & -Filenames: RUGBY-??.ZIP +--------\___/≈e≈/aL!\/--------/_____\-----+ & AUSTRALIAN RUGBY LEAGUE (c)Elec. Arts [xx/46] & THE INTERN. ASSOC. OF PAKIS: For Dos AND Win 95 100% FULLY CRACKED/WORKING & AUSTRALIAN RUGBY LEAGUE +------------------------------------------+ & MOVIE ADDON [xx/25] DOS/WIN -Filenames: PSGARL??.ZIP -Filenames: ARLVID??.ZIP The Prestige release was supposed to be cracked better and supposed to not need fakecd. However after unzipping their dosarl.exe, I found that it didn't matter and I still needed fakecd. So download whichever one you want I don't care. This is Australian Rugby, that sport sorta like football but for those tougher Australians. It's in the typical EA style with the check and X but- tons in the menu, lots of options. It's hard to play the game, and trying to score, but I assume you could find the computer's weakness if you play it long enough. Only reccomended for diehard rugby fans, otherwise it's not really worth your time. The game play is an eagle's eye view at a slant over somewhat small looking people. Their is a commentator, crowd sfx, but no music. Not too impressive, but not too shabby. The movie addon didn't seem to do much since I didn't encounter any playing of any videos in the game nor at the startup. RATING: 58/100 ============================================================ Barbie and her magical house. 13 total disks. Independant release by bitor on 08/31/96 Dont think this has been released before if it has, oh well. If you have any questions look me up in #warez-_-sites. Installation instructions: Unzip to a temp dir then arj x barbie.* x:\barbie ============================================================ -Filenames: BARBIE??.ZIP You know, I really wanted to play in Barbie's Magical Whore House, but the dumbass who packaged this forgot some important files, namely the barbie.exe. It's also missing the icon and wri file, but you could just create those your- self to get it to install, but without the barbie.exe your fucked. Oh well, I guess Ken will just have to wait for some other whore house. RATING: NA/100 ________________________/»|__/| ___________ \___ \ __ / __/ __/ / |/ ____/ __/_ | __/ _/ _/ _| \__ \ \/ / ) / _| / |___|\__\ \________ /___\__\__ \______\ +--------\___/≈e≈/aL!\/--------/_____\-----+ Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Core Rules CDROM [x/32] +------------------------------------------+ -Filenames: PSGCOR??.ZIP I followed the directions exactly and it appears like that D&D-CRK.COM that came with it doesn't do much, because it still asked for the CD. Anyway, this like for the major D&D freaks out there, a collection of the following: 5 Complete AD&D Rule Books, Players Handbook, Dungeon Master Guide, Monstrous Manual, Tome of Magic, Arms & Equipment Guide, 2-D MapMaker with 3-D viewing, Character Generators (Both Human & NPC) with printout options, and Monster Creation utilties, + more. So if you're really not into D&D then don't bother, but if you are, I'm sure your probably going to want to keep this one, that is if you get it to work. RATING: NA/100 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*> WIN '95 REVIEWS <*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- THE $$ gg $$ $$Pg. j$"$c $$""" ::::: $$ $ $$ gg $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ ::::: $$ $ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ggg ?$g$g$P $$ $$ $$ $$g$$ gg $$ mc ------------------- $$ gg $$ $$ $$ --- Reviews from pAth0s... ?$g$P ?$g$P GR! -Pathos had to leave immediately and was not able to write this week, he says he's sorry and that you guys didn't miss anything good. Marathon 2: Durandal (c) Bungie [26/26] _ ________________________ _____ ________ _ WIN95 REVIEW \\_____ \_____ \_____ \/ . \\_____ \\ COURTESY OF: dZG/\ __// _ |/ ____/. | \/\ __/ AIRDOG _/ \ \/ /_ _/ /_ | ! _/ \ \ \____\ \______\_________|_____\____\ \_ =======\___/===∙1911∙CD∙DIVISION∙======\___/ -Filenames: MAR2-??.ZIP Basically this is just a Doom style game with hi-res graphics. It ran like crap on my computer (486-dx2/66mhz), so I ran it in low-res. Believe it or not it still ran like crapola :P. Anyways, when I played it I didn't like it at ALL. The graphics in low-res are incredibly fuzzy, but hi-res they are pretty sharp. But the gameplay is very crappy, nonetheless. Somebody told me Marathon 1 was good on mac, and that's why they put Marathon 2 on PC. Well, in my opinion they really shouldn't have :), the only thing good was the music/sound and the cool art before the levels. If your starving for another duke/doom clone, get this, if your looking for a quality game, don't bother. This game is kinda lame in my standards :). RATING: 40/100 qSⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿ$$$ⁿⁿⁿⁿ$$$$$$$$ⁿ$$$$$$$ⁿ$$Spa _____ ____\_____/\_. ___ _____ __ $ $$$$$$$$Sp.░ $Sp.`$$$' nS.`$$$',Sn`$$ /___ \/ __/\_ _/ | \_ || _/ \/ \ $ $$$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$ ⁿ$$$.`░',$$$ⁿ $ | / / _/\ / _/ |/\ / `' \ \ / $ $$$$$$$$S▓'. $$$$ ⁿⁿⁿⁿ .`▓2▓a$$$',$$$:| \ \ ' \/ |/ ' | |/ \: $ $$$$ ▓S$$b ⁿ $$$▓,q$$b ░,$$$'░nnn.`$$:|__|\ \____/ |\_______\____/\_/\ \ $ $$$$b `▓S$$b $$$$$$$$'d$$$',S.`$$$b`$:[FF]:__/:::/____|::::::::::::::::::\_/ $Syyyyy$$$yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyS$ *-REFLUX 1996 PROUDLY PRESENTS-* $$░` r e f l u x - 1 9 9 6 `░ⁿ$$[=====================================] $' FULL COURT PRESS (c) MICROSOFT `$[ Full Court Press Install/Game *FIX*] $$b,._ o8/25/96 - [xX/50] _.,d$$[=====================================] ⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿⁿ_______________________________________ -Filenames: RLXFCP??.ZIP -WIN95 REVIEW COURTESY OF AIRDOG- Here is a fine NBA Licensed Microsoft basketball game. I believe it's got all of the players, all teams, all pix of the players. It's also got season, playoff, & exhibition modes. This game ran quite good on my computer even though it's always in Hi-Res (which can't be switched), but besides that it's a great game. The AI is half decent, and the realism is really good. EX: not all of your shots go in, this one will be a challenging b-ball game. I never got to play NBA Live 96, but people have told me this one is better. There are also sound and music addons released by RLX, but i never got them. The only thing that's tricky about this game is the installation, but RLX released a fix the next day I believe to fix that up, +, RAR didn't have long-named file support =). The view is an overhead view, but there are no different camera angles. This one smokes. RATING: 80/100 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>THE GAME OF THE WEEK<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -This week's GOTW goes to REFLUX for their release of FULL COURT PRESS. A great basketball game, too bad it's limited to Win95. Speaking of REFLUX, it appears as though the ban on them has been lifted and forgotten. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>OTHER RELEASES<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Since a lot of games came out while I was gone, that were not worth d/l, I'll just list them (the ones not reviewed), and remember, none were `extraordinary' or really `must haves'. Also listed are the win95 games that Pathos will hopefully have in next week's issue: ________________________/»|__/| ___________ \___ \ __ / __/ __/ / |/ ____/ __/_ | __/ _/ _/ _| \__ \ \/ / ) / _| / |___|\__\ \________ /___\__\__ \______\ +--------\___/≈e≈/aL!\/--------/_____\-----+ TRIVIAL PURSUIT for WINDOWS (c)Hasbro [01/11] -Filenames: PSGTRV??.ZIP ____ ____ ____/ /___________/ /_ -:-/\-:- \__ ____ _ ____ \ The New / / / / / / / Breed / / / / / / / -:-\/-:- \___ /___/ /___ / Presents: <::::\_/::::\__/::::\__/:::::::::::> Trivial Pursuit (c) Hasbro Interactive <==========================[xx/42]=> -Filenames: TNB-TP??.zIP IDEPENDENT RELEASE (Nice spelling morons) ================== Trivia Pursuit Sound Addon (all sound based questions included, approx 10% of the game! Works with PSG & TNB releases.) 39 x 1.45 =========================== -Filenames: TPSND-??.ZIP ________________________/»|__/| ___________ \___ \ __ / __/ __/ / |/ ____/ __/_ | __/ _/ _/ _| \__ \ \/ / ) / _| / |___|\__\ \________ /___\__\__ \______\ +--------\___/≈e≈/aL!\/--------/_____\-----+ ROBERT E. LEE: CIVIL WAR GENERAL [01/22] ROBERT E. LEE: AND ITS MILLION ADDONS [XX/XX] -Filenames: PSGROB??.ZIP -Note: Like I need to tell you what these war games are like anymore. ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ROBERT E. LEE: CIVIL WAR GENERAL █ ▄▄▄ █ (C) Sierra - RIP [01/10] █ ▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ █ ████ ▀████▀███▄ ▄███▀██▄ ▀ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▄▄▄▄▄ █ █ ████ ████▄███▀ ████ ████ ███▄▄ ▐██ █ █ ████ ████ ▀███▄ ████ ████ ▄▄▄ ███ ██▌ █ █ ████ ████ ████ ████■████ ███▄██▀ ▐██ █ ▀▄ ▀▀█▄■████ ████ ▀██▄████▄ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█ ▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▀▀▀▀ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▀▀▀ █ 96-08-25 ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ -Filenames: IRQCIV??.ZIP -Note: Tried this one, and well, it didn't work in win3.1, missing stuff. THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF PAKIS PRESENTS [x/3] ROBERT E. LEE: CIVIL WAR GENERAL MULTIMEDIA HISTORY -Filenames: RELHST??.ZIP Olympic Games: Winners Edition (c) U.S. Gold - [XX/11] _____ _____ ____ _____ ________________ \_ | \ \/ / _ /__\_ \_/ _ \ | _ \_ \ _/ \ \ __/___/ | / / |___| |____|___/ /_\ \___|_______/ ::d|___|::::::.\___/.:.\___\:::::::::: -Filenames: HBD-OG??.ZIP ********************************* * Olympic Games * * Speach Addon and Install Help * * XX/11 * ********************************* -Filenames: OLYADD??.ZIP PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR (c) IMAGE LINE [xx/22] SEXY ADVENTURE FOR WINDOWS 95 ▄▄▄▄▄ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ █▀▄▄▄▀█▄█▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ██▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀█▄ █ ▓▓▓▓▓ █ ▓▓▀▀▀▀▀▀ █ ▓▓▀▀▀▀▓▓▀▀▀▀▓▓ █ █ ▒▒▀▀▒▒ █ ▒▒ █▀▀▀▀▀█ ▒▒ ██ ▒▒ ██ ▒▒ █ █ ░░ █ ░░ █ ░░ █ █ ░░ ██ ░░ ██ ░░ █ █ ── ██ ── █ ── █ █ ── ██ ── ██ ── █ █ ▓▓ █▀█ ▓▓ ▒ ▓▓ █▄▄▄▄▄█ ▓▓ ██ ▓▓ ██ ▓▓ █ █ ▒▒ █▀ █ ▒▒ ▓ ▒▒▄▄▄▄▄▄ █ ▒▒ ██ ▒▒ ██ ▒▒ █ █ ▀▀ █▀ █ ▀▀ ██▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ █ ▀▀ ██ ▀▀ ██ ▀▀ █ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ -Filenames: ACM-PI??.ZIP -Note: Win95 _____ __ ______ _____ __ _____ / \/ | |__| | / _ \ / _ _ | _ |__| | | | \_ _/ / | | | || | \ / - \ \__|_|__/\____/ |__|___|\___\_____/ ----------------------------------- Flight Sim 5 FX-Addon [o5/o5] ----------------------------------- -Filenames: M8FXADD?.ZIP -Note: Just sound fx addons for Flight Sim 5, wtf actually has that anymore. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>UPCOMING RELEASE DATES<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -All projected dates are as of AUGUST 30TH 1996, 8:15am (EST) and based on STORE release dates. The info. in this section is updated WHEN AVAILABLE. Key to system types: DCD = DOS CD WCD = Windows CD HCD = Windows/Mac. CD W95CD = Win 95 CD W3 = Windows Disk W953 = Win 95 Disk D3 = DOS Disk Date | Name of Game | OS | Company ----------------------------------------------------------- 96/08/30 MEGA RACE 2 DCD MINDSCAPE 96/09/01 DEADLY SKIES DCD JVC COMPANY OF AMERICA 96/09/02 NFL QB CLUB 97 DCD ACCLAIM 96/09/02 IRONMAN/XO DCD ACCLAIM 96/09/02 GOLF NICK P DCD GT SOFTWARE 96/09/02 AD&DCORERULESDCD TSR 96/09/02 DUNGON KEEPR DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/02 HIST WORLD DCD AVALON HILL 96/09/02 POWERSLAVE DCD PLAYMATES INTERACTIVE ENT 96/09/02 DUKE ZONE DCD WIZARD WORKS 96/09/02 MANIC KARTS DCD VIRGIN GAMES 96/09/02 DEADLY GAMES DCD SIR TECH 96/09/02 SILNT HTR PATL DCD MINDSCAPE 96/09/02 F22 LIGHTNING2 DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/02 KILRATHI SAGA DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/02 CRUSADE:REGRET DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/02 RAPID FIRE PAK DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/02 ULT GAMERS PAK DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/03 MORTL KMBT DUO DCD ACCLAIM 96/09/03 PRAY FOR DEATH DCD VIRGIN GAMES 96/09/05 BUBBLE BOBBLE DCD ACCLAIM 96/09/05 ALIEN TRIL DCD DIGITAL PICTURES 96/09/09 HIND DCD INTERACTIVE MAGIC 96/09/10 HARDLINE DCD VIRGIN GAMES 96/09/15 MAST/ORION 2 DCD SPECTRUM HOLOBYTE 96/09/15 MAGIC GATHER DCD SPECTRUM HOLOBYTE 96/09/15 OVER REICH DCD AVALON HILL 96/09/17 ASSASSIN 2015 DCD WEA VIDEO 96/09/17 NATO FIGHTERS DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/24 BEDLAM DCD GT SOFTWARE 96/09/24 C&C RED ALERT DCD VIRGIN GAMES 96/09/25 COMANCHE 3.0 DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/27 SYNDICATE WARS DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/27 MADDEN NFL 97 DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/27 NHL HOCKEY 97 DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/30 WAR GMES COLL DCD MINDSCAPE 96/09/30 STL PANTHRS 2 DCD MINDSCAPE 96/09/30 BLOOD/MAGIC DCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS 96/09/30 AZRAEL TEAR DCD MINDSCAPE 96/10/01 BARB DESN REFL WCD MATTEL 96/10/01 BARBE STRY MKR WCD MATTEL 96/10/01 BTLCRSR 3000 DCD TAKE 2 INTERACTIVE 96/10/01 SCENERY ITALY DCD WIZARD WORKS 96/10/01 GRID RUNNER DCD VIRGIN GAMES 96/10/07 PRIVATEER 2 DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/10/15 NCAA BASKETBLL DCD GTE INTERACTIVE MEDIA 96/10/15 NEO HUNTER DCD VIRGIN GAMES 96/10/18 PGA96:WNTWRTH DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/10/25 ARMOR FIST 2.0 DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/10/27 TOONSTRUCK DCD VIRGIN GAMES 96/10/29 STAR GENERAL DCD MINDSCAPE 96/10/29 TIMELAPSE DCD GTE INTERACTIVE MEDIA 96/11/01 JETFIGHTR III DCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS 96/11/01 VR BASEBALL DCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS 96/11/15 LANDS OF LORE2 DCD VIRGIN GAMES 96/11/15 AH64D:KOREAN DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/02 POLITICARDS HCD MASQUE 96/10/01 MOTHER GSE LRN HCD MATTEL 96/10/01 FSHRPRCE PARNT HCD MATTEL 96/10/24 SIM PARK HCD MAXIS 96/10/01 SIDWNDR GAMEPAD MICROSOFT 96/08/29 MUMMY WCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS 96/08/30 TRPMKR 97 WCD RAND McNALLY 96/08/30 STREETFND 97 WCD RAND McNALLY 96/09/01 HTWHL TOY CAR WCD MATTEL 96/09/02 WOOD SHIP MEN WCD AVALON HILL 96/09/02 NECRODOME SHR W5CD MINDSCAPE 96/09/02 DUKE WIZARDS W5C WIZARD WORKS 96/09/09 LIGHTHOUSE TCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC 96/09/13 NTSCP3.0 PED WCD NETSCAPE 96/09/15 DAGGERFALL DCD BETHESDA 96/09/15 ENCARTA97 DX WCD MICROSOFT 96/09/16 SCRABBLE WCD HASBRO INTERACTIVE 96/09/17 NETSCPE GOLD WCD NETSCAPE 96/09/20 MS VIS J++1.0W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/24 MON NIGHT FB WCD DISNEY SOFTWARE 96/10/01 BARBE PRN&PLY WCD MATTEL 96/10/01 BARBIE DESIGN WCD MATTEL 96/10/01 NOIR WCD CYBERDREAMS 96/10/01 OTHELLO WCD HASBRO INTERACTIVE 96/10/14 ULT YAHTZEE WCD HASBRO INTERACTIVE 96/10/14 CLUE WCD HASBRO INTERACTIVE 96/10/22 9 WCD GT SOFTWARE 96/10/24 QCKN 6 WCD INTUIT 96/10/24 QCKN DX 6 WCD INTUIT 96/10/29 COLLEGE FTBL WCD DISNEY SOFTWARE 96/11/01 HOT WHEELS MOUSE WCD MATTEL 96/10/24 QCKN 6 W3 INTUIT 96/08/29 OLYMPIC SOCC W5C U.S. GOLD INC. 96/08/30 MORT KOMBT 3 W5C GT SOFTWARE 96/09/01 NEVERHOOD W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/01 REAL TROUBLE W5C U.S. GOLD INC. 96/09/02 DESTINY W5C INTERACTIVE MAGIC 96/09/02 MARATHON 2 W5C BUNGIE SOFTWARE 96/09/02 MECH 2 MERCS W5C ACTIVISION 96/09/09 NECRODOME W5C MINDSCAPE 96/09/14 AUTOMP ST +5 W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/14 AUTOMP ST+DX W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/14 AUTOMP TRP5.0 W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/15 GREET WKSHP W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/15 MS PICTURE IT W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/15 DEADLY TIDE W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/15 PUBLISHER 97 W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/15 CRL MEGA GAL W5C COREL SYSTEMS 96/09/15 DIE HARD TRL W5C FOX VIDEO 96/09/16 DRK SUN:ONLINE W5C MINDSCAPE 96/09/17 GOLDEN NUGGET W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/09/17 CIRCLE/BLOOD W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/09/20 HEXEN W5C GT SOFTWARE 96/09/20 ENCARTA 97 STD W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/24 STAR CONTR 3 W5C WEA VIDEO 96/09/24 WARWIND W5C MINDSCAPE 96/09/24 AGILE WARRIOR W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/09/24 GRAND SLAM 97 W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/09/24 C&C RED ALERT W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/09/27 DIABLO W5C DAVIDSON 96/09/27 NORT UTL 2.0 W5C SYMATEC 96/09/27 ROAD RASH W5C ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/27 PGA TOUR 96 W5C ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/09/27 NORT UTL 2.0 U W5C SYMATEC 96/09/27 WRLD ATLS 2.0W5C MICROSOFT 96/09/27 SHERLOCK:ROSE W5C ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/10/01 STR TRK GEN W5C SPECTRUM HOLOBYTE 96/10/01 DOMINION W5C 7TH LEVEL 96/10/01 CLANDESTINY W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/10/01 NAVY FGHTERS97 W5C ELECTRONIC ARTS 96/10/02 WESTWORLD 2000 W5C SIMON & SCHUSTER 96/10/15 REVERENCE W5C CYBERDREAMS 96/10/15 ELEVENTH HOUR W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/10/15 ENEMY NATIONS W5C VIACOM 96/10/21 HYPERBLADE W5C ACTIVISION 96/10/22 CADDY HACK W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/10/22 SCORCHED PLNET W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/10/27 COMMAND/CONQR W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/10/29 GALACTIC MRAGE W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/10/29 ODDBALLZ W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/11/01 TERRACIDE W5C U.S. GOLD INC. 96/11/01 PUZZ/TRILOBYTE W5C VIRGIN GAMES 96/11/12 TITANIC W5C GTE INTERACTIVE MEDIA 96/11/18 BATTLESHIP W5C HASBRO INTERACTIVE 96/11/18 RISK W5C HASBRO INTERACTIVE 96/12/01 DEATHTRP DNG W5C U.S. GOLD INC. 97/01/01 MINDWARP W5C MAXIS 97/03/01 MORTIFICATOR W5C PLAYMATES INTERACTIVE ENT 96/09/30 HLTHY PC 1.0 W3 SYMATEC 96/09/30 CLNSWP 3.0 W5C QUARTERDECK ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>CORRECTIONS<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What did the Game Reviewer say to the newbie? A: I'm perfect and I don't need corrections. <Not intended to be funny> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- THIS MAGAZINE IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER, CONDONES THE PIRATING, STEALING, OR ANY OTHER ILLEGAL MEANS OF OBTAINING SOFTWARE. I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS AS A RESULT OF READING THIS MAGAZINE, NOR HAVE I DONE ANYTHING ILLEGAL TO OBTAIN THE REVIEWED GAMES. IF YOU LIKE HOW THE REVIEW OF A GAME SOUNDS THEN BY ALL MEANS PURCHASE IT AND SUPPORT THE SOFTWARE COMPANY. ANY AND ALL MAGAZINE GROUPS HAVE PERMISSION TO USE THIS IN THEIR MAGAZINE, AS LONG AS IT HAS NOT BEEN EDITED IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, AND YOU HAVE OBTAINED MY WRITTEN EMAIL PERMISSION. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- <*>CLOSINGS<*> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Glad to be back...who the fuck am I kidding, I coulda spent the rest of my life on that PERFECT cruise vacation I had, damn wish I could relive it. -That's it for this week, hope it was of help. -Ionizer (The Game Reviewer) Comments/Complaints send to [email protected] (NO GAME REQUESTS) .a$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$a. $$' . `$$' `$$ ' `$$' s `$$ $' $ $$ $ $$ a a $$ $ $$ $ $ssss$$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ o $$ $$ $ $ $$ sssss$$ $. $ $$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $$. $ ,$$ $ $$ $ $ $$. $ ,$$ $$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$ $$' o '$$$ $ $$' s `$$ `$$$$$ $$ $ $$$ $ $$ $ $$ $o $$$$$ $$ $ $$$ $ $$ $ $$ ~' o$$$$$ $$ $ $$$ $ $$ sssss$$ %. ^$$$$$ $$ $ $$$s s$$ $ $$ $$ $$$$$ $$. $ ,$$$$@. .@$$$. $ ,$$ $$ $$$$$ `$$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$hd' Copyright 1996 Ionizer Inc. #167A939
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